smeared hands
by snowyseas
Summary: After centuries of political conflict, a war finally breaks out between two kingdoms. Having lost everything dear to her, Sakura travels across the country under a false name in order to survive. When she meets a blond-haired mercenary that saves her life, things begin to change and she discovers what it means to protect something she loves. [NaruSaku] [AU]
1. still with hearts beating

**A/N:** This story was started because my grandmother was telling me stories of WWII when the Japanese invaded and the British abandoned us, thinking, "oh no, we gotta get outta here". It's been about a year? since I wrote this story, or started to write it, and I can honestly say I am proud of it. I did not edit any of the chapters prior to reformatting my fanfics here aha, so don't worry about not catching up. I thank those who read this story when it was first published so much - because you all have given me motivation to keep writing this thing and to improve my writing as well as my story-telling skills. I hope this story has lived up to your expectations!

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><p><strong>[いち ;; Still with Hearts Beating]<strong>

_"human beings  
>are made of water -<br>_

_we were not designed  
>to hold ourselves<br>together_

_rather run freely  
>like oceans<br>like rivers"_

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><p>Every single day was the same, and nothing seemed to change.<p>

It started out as a small disagreement between the neighboring kingdoms. Our land is wedged between two powerful countries, with kings who had enough wealth to buy the most expensive of teas and silk. We had no king to protect us, but we had a queen. Her name was Tsunade, and she was the first woman of all our queens to rule without a king.

We loved her, and there was not a single person that defied her. The men of our land were willing to die for her in battle, and the young women and girls aspired to be more like her.

The day of her murder, it was said that she bled white blood when she was stabbed. Vultures did not pick at her carcass, but they chased away the perpetrators who worked under the king of Tana, our since sworn enemy. When word spread that Tsunade-sama was murdered, her advisors warned us that the king of Tana had made a declaration of war. They began robbing things from us, and before we knew it, our once prosperous country was in poverty. We received rations each day, and there was an increase in the mortality rate.

Tana stopped trade with us, and our crops could no longer grow. We could no longer make healthy food because of the recession in our economy. They began leaving landmines in our soil, and girls like me, _especially_ girls like me, always had to be careful. Throughout the years since the war started, things were starting to look up and the landmines seemed to be less of a risk.

However, girls my age were beginning to get kidnapped, raped, and then killed.

We lived in fear everyday, and despite the fact that we were always together and looking out for each other, we knew that we had nothing. We could do nothing, but we feared everything. The sound of the light switch turning on in the middle of the night, the knocks on doors in the morning. Everything that was a routine before the war, became a threat during it.

Many things happened before Tsunade-sama's murder. My father and mother were taken to different locations and killed on the spot. The only way I knew this was through a telegram from a messenger. I packed up our home, filled with riches from foreign lands that my father accumulated a collection of. I sold my mother's jewelry, and used the money to hide myself from the enemy.

We were a noble family, who worked closely with Tsunade-sama. I was her student.

The only student that wasn't killed.

After I destroyed all remnants that related to my family and Tsunade-sama, I showed up at a shelter for girls. I never told any of them my real name, telling them that my name was Haruna. With bright eyes and wide grins, they called me Haruna-chan, or Haruna-neechan, if they were younger. I accepted this new identity and attempted to change my habits, in case anyone ever grew suspicious of me. I did most things the way I was trained to - delicately and carefully - but in a world of despair, no such thing existed anymore.

I often took walks in the early mornings, before any of the girls at the shelter could wake up. I visited a cliff that overlooked Tana, and I always reminded myself that one day, it would all be over. I would be able to use my real name in public, and everyone else would be able to laugh and love, reuniting with their families and friends. It was painful, and so frustratingly infuriating, that the king refused to give up, despite the fact that we had no ruler. That was his advantage, of course.

On the first morning of autumn, I wrapped my scarf around my neck before walking out, carefully putting on my boots as the girls slept quietly. I shut the door behind me carefully, a skill I had come to master over the course of the years I stayed at the shelter. When I turned around to face forward, Ino, the first girl I became friends with, stood before me, her blue eyes skeptical.

"Where are you going?"

I opened my mouth, ready to lie, when she narrowed her eyes. I shifted my gaze to the side, considering telling her I wanted some fresh air, when really, I just wanted to think.

"Going for a walk."

"Can I come with?"

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Ino huffed, and her usually confident demeanor became worried, the creases in her forehead a rare sight.

"Haruna-chan… you do realize I know something's up, right?"

It was my turn to narrow my eyes at her. When I first met Ino, she had been brusque and demanding, but in all genuity, she was a wonderful person. She knew little secrets about me that no one else did - that I sometimes stuffed my food under the table, giving them to the shelter's dog, that I'd never tasted alcohol on my tongue, that I'd never fallen in love. A lot of the other girls were different from me, and Ino made sure I didn't feel left out. Despite that, I was unable to tell her the real secrets about me. Her life would've been in danger.

I sighed, defeated.

"Nothing's going on, okay? I just want to think."

"So you're taking a walk."

"It helps to clear the mind, they say."

Ino smiled, and I couldn't help but allow the corners of my lips to lift, too.

"Let me come with you."

I exaggerated the groan the came out of my mouth, and Ino laughed quietly, her shoulders lifting and her breaths lithe. Very girly, I noted. Very much like the way I used to laugh.

"Okay, but we have to hurry. We don't have all day."

Ino was silent for almost all of the walk. She kept her eyes on the scenery around her, and judging by the light in her eyes, she had never been to this part of the country. It was to be assumed - the area was generally secluded and the wind was biting during this time of the morning. Trees surrounded us and their leaves were beginning to fall to the soil, orange and red alike. It was beautiful, but at the same time, almost saddening that she might not get to see the wonderful mosses of green I normally saw during the summer. For years, summer was not the same as it was before; the word freedom no longer came with it, but rather a sense of heightened insecurity.

I helped her climb up to the cliff where the wind was the strongest and she pulled her jacket around her tightly, shivering every now and then. I sat away from the edge and she followed, but not before coughing a few times.

"It's really nice up here," she commented, seemingly in awe.

"Yeah. Kind of makes you forget things."

We sat side by side, staring at the land across from us. We didn't exchange any words, and the silence was rare for us. She normally loved to ask about my life before the shelter, and of course, I'd lie. Perhaps Ino had figured something out. Perhaps she also had secrets of her own that she kept to protect herself. Perhaps her name wasn't even Ino.

"Do you think things are gonna get better?" Ino asked, her voice quiet.

"I don't know. I hope so."

"Everyone's on the brink of lashing out."

"I know."

"Haruna-chan, what're you hiding from me?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You used to be filled with life, and now. All you care about is taking your walks."

I didn't answer her. I merely sighed and rested my chin on my knees, my thoughts becoming clouded. I didn't want to lie anymore; it was tiring, having to lie to protect myself. One of the people I've come to love didn't even know my real name, and I was too scared to trust her.

"I just miss my family. That's all," I finally answered as I stood up.

We walked back to the shelter without a word. Ino kept trying to say something to me - anything at all - but she always closed her mouth, as though thinking that perhaps, in times like this, it was best not to say anything at all.

Most of the girls at the shelter had already awoken, and were brushing their teeth and washing their bodies before breakfast time in the dining room. Ino touched my arm before walking off to meet with the other girls our age. She looked back at me before smiling and walking off with them, her pace slower than normal. I walked straight to where I shared a room with three other girls, all younger than me, and sat down on my bed. One girl about the age of fifteen came inside, her brown eyes wide.

"Haruna-neehan, it's your turn to help pick berries for lunch today."

"Oh. Sorry, I forgot."

"That's okay! I reminded you because I'm going with you."

"Didn't you go yesterday?

"Yeah, but I want to help. So I'll come," she smiled brightly before running off to breakfast.

I rummaged through whatever belongings I had left, which, incidentally, was a photograph of my parents holding me when I was still a toddler. I didn't like looking at it during the day, but there were times when I needed to remind myself of who I was. It wasn't because I wanted to avenge them, but it was because I simply didn't want to lose everything I had ever known. I didn't want to forget.

When I came to the dining hall, no one was to be seen. I froze, checking under tables, in the kitchen, and even in the very back where the food was made. The cooks were gone, the adults who took care of us were gone, and the girls were nowhere around. I felt my heartbeat begin to race and my instincts were heightening, paying attention to every tiny sound I heard, every single movement I saw from the corner of my eyes.

This only meant that the girls were hiding underground.

Which only meant one thing:

"Go check the kitchen - they can't all be gone. This is one of the best shelters in the country."

Panic spread throughout my body and the adrenaline rushed to my brain, my hands, my fingers. I reached down to quickly take off my boots and ran towards the kitchen, desperately looking for something to hide behind. I could hear heavy soles walking slowly through the dining hall and my heart was thumping loudly that I was worried the enemy could hear me. I ran towards the laundry room, located in the very back. I closed the door behind me, making sure the click wasn't heard. I sat there waiting for whoever was out there to turn away, to leave the shelter, but I continued to hear his boots until he stopped right before the closed door. Fear was bubbling inside of me.

"What're you doing in front of that door? Nothing's in there."

"No," a deeper voice sounded, "someone's in there."

I prayed to the gods to help me stay still, to change the minds of the soldiers on the other side of the door. I held my breath for what seemed like hours, and when I think I hear the heavy boots walking away, the doorknob slowly turns. I quickly get up, ready to fight, and when the door opens, I don't hesitate to kick the enemy in his nether regions.

I ran through the kitchen, taking a different route than when I came in, but I found that the shelter was surrounded. The soldiers ran towards me, grabbing my arms and legs, forcing me into the back of a truck, covering my mouth with a cloth, tying my hands and legs with rope. Tears filled my eyes as one of them injected what I assumed was morphine into me, and the last thing I remembered was Ino's face in the window of the kitchen, her tears continuously streaming down her face, her mouth set in a harsh scowl. She was afraid.

They were all afraid, as they watched the soldiers haul me away from home.


	2. of the night

**A/N:** I used to have a blog for this story, explaining little details that I included in the story and where they came from. I don't think anyone really reads those posts anymore, and I feel as though it's more fun to let you guys think about it and come up with your own theories. I think that's better, for me as a writer, to hear you guys come up with stuff that I might not even be able to think of. I'm really picky with how I format my stories now and this is the third time I've changed the format - just how it looks, the story has stayed the same! Thank you for reading this story so far, and I promise you that my writing is not always like this. Reviews are much appreciated, I always get really happy when I get reviews.

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><p><strong>[に ;; Of the Night]<strong>

_"poetry doesn't have to rhyme, it just has to touch someone where your hands couldn't."_

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><p>I couldn't move. Every time I tried to, my body wouldn't respond. It was as though I was paralyzed. It was a long way to where they were taking me; we left in the morning and by noon, we were still moving. I could do nothing but look at the nature that surrounded us, the forest that engulfed us. The trees were beginning to have darker shadows as the sun rose higher, and fear struck my heart.<p>

I hated the dark, particularly when it was in unknown territory.

The foliage that shone through leaves would be beautiful to anyone else, but before my mother was killed, she always told me to never go to places where there were gaps between plants, where the shadows lurked. My father always dismissed it as her being superstitious, and perhaps it rubbed off on me, too. In a way, superstition was something that she had passed onto me, in the hopes that it might guide me in more ways than one.

"Oi."

With my eyes, I turned to look at the soldier who tied me up. He had silver hair and purple eyes, and he bared teeth that were sharp. A strange sight, to be frank. The lines in his face made him look harsh, but upon meeting my eyes, they softened.

"You haven't had water in a while."

I didn't answer.

"You're gonna be here for a long time."

I made a noise in the back of my throat that would've been a laugh, had my sense of humor been dark.

"Drink some. We'll do something about your body later."

He lifted my head up gently and held me up on his arm as he placed the tip of a flask in between my lips. He pushed my head up further so I wouldn't choke, and the moment I tasted water on my tongue, I realized how dry my throat was. He gave me just enough to quench my unknown thirst, and if I was kind, I would've given some form of gratitude.

I did not bother learning his name, even as he propped me up gently and wrapped my arm around his neck when we reached a remote location. I assumed it was some kind of hideout for them.

Despite how rough they were with me earlier, they were much kinder to me once they settled me down. They fed me hot food and provided me with warm sheets. I wasn't sure what to think, but I _was_ certain that I could only trust myself. The drug's effects had worn off by the time night rolled around, and I was able to move my arms and legs. I was able to speak, too, but I refused to say anything. They never asked for intel. They didn't even ask for my name.

What was the purpose of kidnapping me alone?

They waited for me to fall asleep that night. Aside from the fact that I was absolutely vulnerable, I was in no mood to fight back. Not yet, anyway. I knew I had to think of a strategy, but to do that, I needed time alone. They weren't giving me any of it, either, unless I needed to bathe near the river, or to excrete waste. I always ate my meals with them, and despite the fact that they were always laughing, I forced myself to shut down.

I could not trust them.

Days turned into weeks, and they were becoming kinder and kinder to me, though I had no idea who they were. It made me incredibly uncomfortable, because I knew that there was a reason that they kidnapped me alone - why hadn't they tried for other girls? Why did they specifically target me, and more importantly, what was their motive? It was frustrating to the point that on some nights, I refused to eat. The white-haired soldier - whose name was Suigetsu, I learned - had regarded me with worried eyes, though he laughed.

"You're going to starve if you don't eat."

I snorted, but continued to walk back to where I was meant to sleep. Another man, whose large frame reminded me of my father, looked at me with dark eyes. I felt less intimidated by people like him; people who had large bodies but also large hearts. His orange hair was impossibly still noticeable even when the sun had long set. I wanted to laugh when I first met him, whose name I learned was Juugo, but he appeared to be more sensitive than I originally thought. People like him made me want to be kinder.

"He's right. We don't want you to die of starvation."

As opposed to killing me at some point with weapons, I supposed. I sat near the bonfire and accepted the plate Suigetsu offered me. They had gone hunting that day and whatever meat I was eating, I didn't want to know what animal it came from. It was soft and juicy, however, and my stomach felt as though it had just received something as luxurious as chocolate. For weeks on end, we ate soup with ingredients I didn't care to know about.

Perhaps Juugo noticed, because he smiled gently at me.

I bowed my head and continued to eat in silence, even when the rest of them were making jokes and laughing together. It was routine, it was the same as every other night. I reminded myself to not be fooled, to always be on guard, but I found that despite these warnings, I was beginning to feel tired. So far, they have shown nothing but kindness to me. I wanted to feel guilty, and I wanted to keep my guard on, but while I had nothing figured out, there really was no point.

"Thank you for being kind," I whispered.

They all looked up from their bowls, their eyes wide and their expressions bewildered. Even Juugo, who was normally calm, wore an expression I had not seen him wear in the past few weeks. Suigetsu began laughing, but it was more out of relief than out of mockery.

"You're finally realizing we're not hurting you?"

"No, but you clearly want something."

"Well. That's not our place to talk about," Juugo said, his voice barely above a whisper.

"We know who you are," Suigetsu said.

"You do?"

Their eyes looked everywhere but at me, and a whole new, unfamiliar uneasiness set in my stomach. Everyone was silent for a long time, and I was beginning to regret having ever said anything to them. When I stood up to go back inside, Juugo stopped me, the tone in his voice assertive.

"You're Haruno Sakura, aren't you?"

I froze. My whole life, I was taught that if anyone apart from the people who raised me knew my name, I had to fight them. I had to defend myself. I had no idea why it was so important, but it was something Tsunade-sama and my parents always reminded me of. Clearly, it was important enough that other people seemed to take notice of it, too.

I picked up a knife that was laid on the ground and backed up. They were all startled; I guess they had slipped up and left a knife there, thinking I wouldn't touch it. My muscles reacted when Suigetsu tried to come closer, his arms in the air, his expression complacent. I don't know when everyone else moved, but before I could realize it, my hands were tied behind my back and I was being carried to where I slept each night. I tried to scream at them to stop, and I demanded they put me down, but they wouldn't budge.

They weren't even speaking to each other, but they moved fluidly - in sync.

Juugo was the one who faced me when I sat down. His normally kind eyes were now full of ambition and fear struck my heart for the first time in weeks. Suigetsu sat beside him and their eyes pierced through me as they spoke. I only caught snippets of what they were saying, and by the sounds of it, they were talking about my life.

How precious it was.

How valuable it was.

How _threatening_ it was.

I shrank back against my mattress as Juugo's unsettling eyes became bright with a fire I had never seen in anyone's eyes. It was new, it was haunting, and it was mysteriously lethal to look at. I felt my bones chill at the close contact and my heart felt as though it stopped beating. They were saying something about cooperation, about not wanting to hurt me, and in that instant, I knew that this whole time, they weren't being kind; they were _trying_ to get me to think they were.

Clammering of pots and pans was heard outside and Juugo paused, his eyes becoming wide from panic.

"_Shit_, we've been found! Hurry, fight them off!"

Suigetsu and the other soldiers ran outside and instantly, I heard the sound of bodies being thrown around and sliced open. It was the first time I was experiencing it so close, and I felt as though I was going to throw up. The slow searing of skin and the loud agonizing groans and screams made my bones shake, and I couldn't move.

"Come on, you're coming with me," Juugo said hastily as he untied the rope on my wrists.

I fought against him and kicked him as hard as I could, punching him in places I know would hurt. He didn't budge, though, and continued to drag me away from where a full-blown battle was taking place. I screamed at him to stop but he covered my mouth. I felt completely hopeless, and I remembered a trick Tsunade-sama had taught me when she was still alive: to _bite_.

My teeth gnawed into his hand and he cried out as he held his hand against his chest, very obviously not expecting the course of action. I ran as fast as I could through the dark forest, and cursed myself for being so impulsive, because as it was, I couldn't see a goddamn thing. My chest began to hurt as I sprinted, and when I looked back, Juugo was running after me, his expression furious.

I willed my legs to work faster, to cover long distances, and just as my lungs gave out, I was grabbed by the waist into a bush by a man with strong arms. I struggled against him but he shushed me, covering my mouth and whispering that it would all be okay.

When my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw that he had large blue eyes that told tales of hope, and blonde hair that could only shimmer under both the sun and the moon. He grinned and removed his hand, and I was too speechless to say anything. He reached into a bag he carried with him and handed me food and water, turning around to watch the hideout I was just at being burnt to the ground. Who _was_ he?

He smiled when he turned to look at me again, and I felt strangely annoyed and even more scared than before.

"Don't worry," he whispered with bright eyes, "I'm on your side."


	3. safe and sound

**A/N:** Of _course_ it's Naruto that shows up to save her. I came up with this idea of a story a few months before the official ending of _Naruto_, and I remember how heartbroken I was. I just wanted to write pages and pages of justification for two characters I loved the most. I guess this story can be seen as that compensation for years of believing in a believable ending. To be frank, reformatting this story almost a year after the ending still makes me angry because everyone deserved so much better. Except the obvious. They didn't deserve anything just because of their "devotion". I hate that word. Reviews are always appreciated!

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><p><strong>[さん ;; Safe and Sound]<strong>

_"the first to help you up is the person who knows how it feels to fall down"_

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><p>I couldn't keep my eyes off his swift hands, plugging and unplugging tools as he kept his eyes on Juugo, making sure he was close enough. For what? I had no idea. I was too mesmerized by how much expertise he had, how this seemed to be his forte.<p>

"What do you mean you're on my side?" I asked.

His eyes flickered over to me before focusing back in front of him, and a wide smile spread across his face. His body tensed and he threw a grenade out in the open, the sound of it echoing in my ears. I immediately lifted my arms to cover my ears, but his strong grip latched onto my wrist and before I could comprehend what was going on, we were running through the dark forest. How we weren't hitting the tree barks was a miracle. Our speed was incredible, too.

"I'm here to take you away from those guys," he finally answered, not looking back.

After a few minutes, he slowed. He looked back, and out of instinct, I mimicked him. There was no one behind us, and it was too dark for Juugo and Suigetsu to chase after us now. I turned back towards the blond-haired man, and his demeanor was cautious. He was truly attractive, but it still stood that I had no idea who this man was. His grip became tighter on my wrist.

"It's too dark for them to chase us. Let me go."

Alarmed, the man abruptly released my wrist and rubbed the back of his neck. He turned forward and walked a few steps, checking our surroundings before he reached behind one of the tree trunks and pulled out what seemed to be a bag. A large one, at that. Under normal circumstances, I would've helped him, but evidently, this was not a normal circumstance. I was extremely baffled.

"We'll camp here tonight."

"What?" I asked.

"We can't move while it's still dark."

I scrunched my eyebrows together and took a few steps closer. He had pulled out a folded tent and set it aside. Other tools laid near him - a few pocket knives, a ladle, a bowl, and some matches. There was a blanket and a few dry cloths. I looked around, despite the fact that I knew I wouldn't be able to see anything. It seemed as though we really were in the middle of the forest, though. He stood up and turned around, saying something about finding some firewood. I took a deep breath.

"Why are you helping me?"

His gaze shifted from the side to my face, and he appeared to be genuinely confused. His hand fell from his neck and his eyes pierced mine, making my skin prick with uncertainty. Maybe a little bit of fear, too. He took one small step backwards and smiled, his grin wide and his eyes crinkling in the corners.

"I'm the good guy, obviously," he laughed, "and those guys were after you."

"How do I know you're not after me, too?"

He paused then, his smile falling. He knitted his brow together before he spoke, his tone absolutely and completely calm, despite his expression.

"I am protecting you. You can choose whether to believe that or not."

With swift movements of his feet, he walked away from me and delved deeper into the forest. I stood in my place, absolutely stunned, and not because his character was so different from the type of people I was used to. He was determined, and he seemed to know very well what he was doing. I waited for a few minutes, but when he didn't come back, I decided to set up the tent.

The wind whistled every now and then, and my fingers became frigid against the metal of the tent. I set it in place, a few meters away from the supplies. The moon shone brightly when I looked up at the dark sky, but there were no stars. I sighed and sat down inside the tent, looking around every few minutes for the blond-haired man whose smile made crinkles in the corners of his eyes.

The initial shock of the night's events were finally spreading throughout my body, and with the addition of the weather, I began trembling. I ran through trivial lessons with Tsunade-sama in my head: how a significant amount of food was not recommended after nausea, how the human body was a constantly working machine, how when we tremble, it is merely our bodies looking for warmth.

My eyes fluttered open when I heard his voice whispering to me.

"Hey, it's dangerous to fall asleep here."

I sat up, wiping my eyes as they came into focus. His arms held firewood and he bent forward to drop them on the forest floor. He bent his legs and sat down before he grabbed the matches next to him and lit a fire. The orange flames lit up his face, and my eyes widened at the gruffness of his appearances. He didn't have stubble or even a mustache, but his the lines around his mouth were present - a sign that he laughed and smiled a lot. His forehead wasn't wrinkled, and though the shape of his eyes were deep-set and made him look exhausted, the blue fire in his eyes made him appear more lively.

"Hand me that bowl."

His tone was monotonous, but his voice was slightly scratchy - almost as though he had been screaming for years.

"What's your name?" I asked.

He looked up at me as he threw in some drinking water into the large bowl, mixing it with a few herbs and vegetables. He smiled as he placed it on top of the fire, mixing it every now and then with the ladle. He was surprisingly calm, and I felt as though perhaps I was too eager. After a few minutes, he poured some of the hot soup into a smaller bowl, handing it to me along with a silver spoon.

"Sorry. I'm not a good cook. I have to focus on it before I do anything else."

I smiled as I tasted the healthy soup. The taste certainly wasn't the best, but it was good enough for people who travelled through the night like this. Perhaps he had years of experience with camping outdoors, hiding from the enemy. Perhaps he was used to rescuing people.

"Naruto."

"Hmm?" I hummed.

"My name's Naruto."

I raised my eyes and he was smiling, his hands holding his own bowl in front of him. It was truly a kind smile, and it knocked over any doubts I had about him. I smiled back, slowly, and he continued eating his meal. We were silent for most of the night, and he kept adding seconds to his bowl, asking me each time if I wanted a refill. I only answered yes once, for fear that eating too much would make me nauseous. He slurped happily, his expression completely satisfied.

"You can sleep alone in that tent," he said between mouthfuls of vegetables.

"Where are you going to sleep?"

"Don't worry. I'll be out here."

"It's freezing."

"I can manage. I've done this for years!"

I was right, then. He _had_ been doing work like this for years. Had he rescued someone else before, from being killed? Had he infiltrated enemy territory the way he did earlier tonight? I nodded and handed him my bowl, declining when he asked if I wanted another bowl of hot soup. I stood up, grabbing the blanket he'd brought. He looked up, and his voice was amused when he asked where I was going.

"Are there any bushes nearby?" I asked.

"A few trees ahead."

I nodded and started walking north, but Naruto cleared his throat.

"It's dangerous to go alone."

"You said that about falling asleep."

"I'm not wrong."

"Are you saying you want to come with me?"

"Just to keep you safe."

I stood before him, dumbfounded and absolutely mortified that he'd have to come with me to the bushes to _pee_. I fidgeted with the ends of the blanket, prompting him to chuckle every now and then before I groaned and motioned with my hand for him to come along with me. He stood up, his hands on his knees before he straightened his back and took one step towards me. I spoke up.

"If I catch you peeping, I will hurt you."

"I don't doubt it," he answered with his hands in the air as a token of surrender.

Our feet stepped upon a bunch of branches as we walked away from the campsite, and my feet kept tugging against the roots of trees. Naruto chuckled behind me, and I would've been angry, if it weren't for the fact that he'd always trip right after me. I wondered how he spent so many years doing what he did. My fingers brushed against a large bush, and I squeaked, relief washing over me. I had been holding in my bladder for _hours_ now, at this point.

I looked back to Naruto and he nodded, turning to face the other way as I pulled down my pants behind the bush. I made no noise, but Naruto chuckled anyway, which made me feel self-conscious.

"Don't laugh!"

"Sorry! It's just that it sounds like you've been holdin' it in!"

I grunted, pulling out a pack of tissues I carried in my pockets at all times to wipe. After a fair amount of rustling in order to get my pants back on, I turned towards Naruto as I stepped out of the bush.

"Did you bring water with you?" I asked.

"No. You can wash your hands when we get back, though."

No words were exchanged between us as we walked back, and every now and then, I glanced at Naruto, only to find him looking at me. It was something you'd see happen in elementary school, and I wanted to laugh at the circumstances.

"Why are you helping me?"

"Like I said. I'm on your side."

"That doesn't tell me much."

Naruto shrugged and sighed, placing one palm on the nape of his neck.

"You'll find out, in time."

I didn't question him anymore, after that. Naruto offered to pour the water as I washed my hands thoroughly, making use of the bar of soap he kept in his bag. I helped him wash out the bowls we ate out of, placing them on a dry cloth to dry overnight. Naruto was staring at a map using a small candle when I turned around, and he marked something on it, his expression thoughtful.

"Is that the route we're taking tomorrow?" I asked, pointing to his mark.

"Yeah. Just seeing that we're taking the right route."

I nodded and took a deep breath as I settled into the tent. Naruto blew out his mini candle, setting it beside his bag. He folded the map crisply and pushed it into the bag before laying his head on top of it, attempting to get comfortable. I felt a tug at my subconscious, and I knew that I felt uncomfortable with him sleeping like that, from the very beginning when he told me that's what he'd do while I slept in the tent.

"Are you sure about sleeping there?" I asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine."

"You're going to get cold."

"I already told you I've done this a bunch of times."

I pursed my lips as I thought. Perhaps being a little kind wouldn't hurt me. I folded the blanket he handed me, spreading my fingers across the top to smooth it out. He seemed to be the type that didn't fall asleep quickly, and if he didn't fall asleep quickly before sunrise, that meant he barely got any sleep. I cleared my throat.

"Do you have any dry socks?" I asked.

He raised his head, then his eyebrows, but he smiled as he reached into his bag, tossing a pair to me. _Perfect_, I thought. I cleared my throat again, and when he sat up, I threw the folded blanket towards him. He held it in his hands and stared at me, as though questioning my intentions.

"I'll be fine if I have just socks. You need the blanket."

I zipped up the tent before he could answer, slipping on the socks he gave me. They were _huge_, and not to mention that they were incredibly thick. I rustled around for a bit, and I could hear Naruto outside, too. I laid my head on my arm, since in times like these, pillows did not exist. I cleared my throat as I settled in. When it became dead silent, I heard Naruto move outside again, once more. It sounded as though he was getting closer.

I moved slightly to face the front of the tent, in case I needed to tell him to back off. My mind changed when he spoke up first.

"Thanks. No one's been kind enough to give me the blanket before."

My breath caught in my throat and my heart softened at the genuity in his voice. How many people had he saved before? After three heartbeats, I answered him:

"It's no problem. You need it more than I do."

Naruto's chuckle rang in my ears as I settled in, closing my eyes. He whispered something about me being a kind person, and I smiled even wider. I couldn't remember the last time someone had called me kind. He whispered goodnight, even though I gave the impression that I'd already fallen asleep. He sniffled a few times before he began snoring softly, and I felt empathy at the realization that he probably didn't get to rest as much as he could.

I laid on my back, trying to imagine the night sky above me. With fluttering eyes, I reminded myself that tomorrow was another day. We were not done yet.

We were not safe yet.


	4. winter prayers

A/N: I have a friend who is an amazing writer. When I need consultation on what I should write, or how I should write something, I always ask her. She inspired me to write from such a young age because I thought she was so amazing and talented. I wanted my words to sound as pretty and as smart as hers did - even now, when I read her writing, I just have this feeling that's like, "I want to write like this", and I am so proud to have her as a friend. Shoutout to **bluepianos**, my friend who I lost touch with from when I was twelve to when I was about seventeen. I love you, and I love all of you, too!

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><p><strong>[よん ;; Winter Prayers]<strong>

_"i am under no obligation to make sense to you"_

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><p>The sun had almost risen when my eyes cracked open. Naruto was snoring outside the tent, and I rolled my eyes at the earth-shattering noise that caused me to wake up not once, but <em>several<em> times throughout the night. I rolled over a few times, groaning every now and then at the lack of comfort that I failed to notice the night before. Perhaps I was too tired to notice, to the point that sleep was the only thing my brain registered.

It wasn't the first time that the circumstances did not allow me to roam about as freely as I pleased, but it _was_ the first time that the person watching over me was generally not very demanding. Naruto never ordered me to stay inside the tent, should I wake up before him. Then again, he zonked out first, at the moment he was most comfortable. He was truly a rather complex man, though he appeared to be simple-minded. Tsunade-sama reminded me to never assume someone's wits was less than their brawn, and perhaps Naruto was a perfect example of this.

I unzipped the front of the tent, careful not to step on Naruto as I placed one foot on the soft soil. I tiptoed around him and headed north, where Naruto took me to pee last night. I almost groaned at the memory and mortification that he heard me _pee_. It was always a trivial matter to men, but to girls - it was something that they hoped you'd never have to hear. Or see, for that matter. Birds were just starting to sing their morning songs, their chirps small and following the rhythm of a heartbeat before they became consistent symphonies.

The birds were all the same in color, and their songs were only slightly similar. They watched me as I walked through the forest, exploring the mosses of green that I could not see the previous night. There had been no snow, despite the fact that we were already quite far into autumn, and I vaguely remembered watching the white particles fall from the sky and onto the grass of my home. It was a memory without meaning; it had no emotional connection to it. Though, for some reason, it was a memory I wanted to hold on to. Perhaps there was a simplicity in it that grounded me to Earth, after everything that has happened.

Perhaps it was just a reminder that I too, am human.

Between the barks of the humongous trees, I spotted a path that eventually led into a small town. A loud one, at that. I craned my neck and saw that people were coming in and out, but they never seemed to come towards the forest. It made sense, though: they were probably told that the forests are the most dangerous places to be, even during the day. Perhaps this was the route Naruto wanted to take.

Come to think of it, I had no idea where we were headed.

The birds that were perched on their branches were now flying off one by one, and the noise around me eventually disappeared. The ground beneath me did not crunch every time I took a step, but instead, it was hard - almost as though it was frozen solid from the winds. Naruto was no longer snoring when I came back. The tent was zipped up as I had left it, but Naruto's things were laid on the floor. I shrugged and sat in front of the burnt wood we used the night before for dinner.

I propped myself on the ground and pulled my knees to my chin in an attempt to keep warm as I waited for Naruto. Surely enough, a few minutes later, a groggy Naruto returned, yawning with his big mouth. He rubbed his eyes and sat down across from me, his blue eyes not yet adjusted to the fact that he was awake.

"How'd you sleep?" I asked.

"Pretty good, I guess," he slapped his cheek a few times to wake himself up.

"You were snoring the whole night, you know."

Naruto looked up at me, and his eyes widened when I gave him the time to process what I had just said. He doubled back, guffawing into the air, holding his stomach. It was contagious; I couldn't help but start laughing myself, despite the grouchiness from the lack of sleep.

"I'm sorry. I kept you up, huh?"

"Just a tad."

"Won't happen again."

"I sure hope not."

I smiled at him as a sign of encouragement, and he smiled his wide grin before pulling out his map and laying it between us. The marks he made were clearer underneath the bright sky now, and I found that his handwriting was like chicken scratch. It was sort of to be expected, that someone like Naruto might not have handwriting that I could read. I vaguely wondered if he could read his own handwriting when his eyes squinted while he looked at the page.

"There's a town if we keep walking north," I said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, I know. I'm just checking - wait. How'd you know that?"

I smiled.

"I did just a little exploring. This forest is beautiful."

"Well, you know what they say about forests."

"I know. My mom used to tell me all the time," I answered sadly.

Naruto's eyes stayed on my face before he knitted his brow together, averting his gaze back to the map. I felt a little guilty; he probably wasn't sure how to deal with this kind of thing. He had probably been trained to focus on rescuing people, on missions, rather than what advice his mother gave him to survive. I couldn't imagine a world without a mother, but I supposed I was beginning to understand.

"What's your mom like?" I asked.

"I don't know. Never met her."

"Oh."

Naruto stiffened before smiling, the creases in his forehead softening.

"They told me she was beautiful, though. She had long red hair. She was brave and impulsive, too."

"Kind of like you," I whispered.

Naruto smiled, softly this time, and his fingers traced the map. He took out a marker and circled another location on the map, his face content, before he looked up at me, his smile never falling off his face.

"Yeah. Kind of like me."

After Naruto pinpointed the route we'd take after the town, he helped me pack up the things he brought. He folded up the tent while I put away the bowls and pushed the burnt wood to the side. My hands were frigid from the biting wind, and I felt as though they were going to snap off if I wasn't careful. I hid them in my pockets as I waited for Naruto to finish up, looking to the sky and seeing nothing but cold and white.

"Let's go," he said as he walked past me.

I followed him, and it was only then that I realized how broad his shoulders were.

The town was bustling with people, old and young alike. They scurried from store to store, home to home, and I felt as though they were all looking for something to do. The town was not _beautiful_ in aesthetics, but it was due to the fact that it looked a little bit run down. It would've been beautiful, had it been fixed up. The people were kind though, bidding hello to Naruto and I.

Perhaps it used to be a tourist town.

Naruto smiled at the young girls who waved to him, and they blushed as they walked away, clearly smitten. I watched as he bowed before the older women who ran the shops, and I followed suit, receiving kind smiles from them. I looked around me, and I figured that Naruto had probably passed by this town countless times. He seemed to be well-known.

"Why are you walking behind me?" he asked, turning around and stopping altogether.

"I don't know this place."

"You can walk next to me, y'know."

I narrowed my eyes.

"For what reason?"

"I just don't like it when people walk behind me," he shrugged.

I hesitated, but when his gaze hardened, I quickly stood next to him. The fire in his eyes was different today; it was darker, and if I had to gall to look properly, it was almost as if he was _remembering_ something. We took slow steps forward, and I mulled over the fact that he hadn't told me anything about him besides what I've already asked. Perhaps it was principle, that he didn't openly give away information about himself.

It made me wonder how he knew me, if he knew my name. If he knew what my history was.

Did he know who he was saving?

"We're just passing by, okay?" Naruto said, after we passed a florist.

"You're not going to look for more supplies?"

"Only if we need it."

"You could get an extra tent."

"Too much money."

"But you won't have to sleep outside."

Naruto contemplated that, his brow furrowing together. He picked up his pace and I fought a smile as I followed him into a camping store. He stared at the sleeping bags in amazement, touching them with the tips of his fingers. The store manager, a young man with black hair, stood up from the stool he sat upon, grinning wide.

"Welcome to Inari's! How may I help you?" he said, his eyes bright.

"We're looking for a tent," I declared when Naruto wandered into the aisle with hiking bags.

The young man brought me to a selection of fold-up tents, all on sale, and all big enough to fit two people. I was feeling a little jealous; of course Naruto would get the big tent, since I took the smaller one. There were different colors, and the material felt nice against my fingers. I picked out an orange one for Naruto and was about to make the purchase when I realized Naruto had the bag with money in it.

"Hold on, I'll get him," I said politely to the young man.

"No, that's okay! It's on the house!"

"What?"

The young man merely smiled and thanked us for coming into his shop. I felt a little dazed at the kindness in his smile, the softness around his eyes - so innocent, so young. I walked up to Naruto, whose focus had shifted to the tent I held in my hand. I stared at him and he smiled, his eyes clearly very confused at the change in the atmosphere.

"How come I didn't have to pay?" I asked.

Naruto's face fell just the slightest; it was only obvious in the way his laughter lines softened, and the way the light in his eyes burned out. His hands reached for the tent in my hands, and he stuffed it into his bag. He stared at me before walking out of the store, and other than feeling absolutely baffled, I was annoyed.

Naruto walked for a few meters, with me behind him, when he turned around, his expression soft.

"Don't walk behind me," he whispered.

I shuffled my feet forward, and instead of walking beside him, I treaded forward. He didn't stop me, but I heard him sigh. We walked for a few meters before he cleared his throat. I turned around and found that he had stopped and was staring right at me, his expression wary. I paused before him, not moving an inch. He opened his mouth and clamped it shut a few times, before he sighed and stepped forward, so that he was closer to me. I couldn't breathe.

"This town was bombed by Tana a few months ago."

I waited, not quite sure what to do with the information.

"They sent me in to help them rebuild the town. Other people like me helped out, too. That's why I don't have to pay - why _we_ don't have to pay."

I couldn't move my eyes from his face. I swallowed every now and then and played with the ends of my hair. I wasn't sure what to say except for perhaps one thing:

"Do they know who I am?"

Naruto's face softened and he stuffed his hands into his pockets. He looked to the sky, as though searching for a proper answer, though I supposed I already knew. It was just a matter of someone else confirming that I was, for once, wrong.

"No. To them, you're just another person I'm saving."

I nodded, more than pleased with his answer. At least most of the state was kept in the dark about who I was. I continued walking forward, when Naruto cleared his throat again. I turned around and his eyes were sheepish, a slight blush on his face. I smiled.

"Hey, uh. You never gave me your name."

"I thought you knew who I was."

"I do. I don't know your name, though."

My eyes softened at his boldness, and I walked towards him, grabbing his hand. I held it in mine softly, and his skin was warm. I smiled again, looking up at him with kindness. I exhaled and he stood up straighter. There was a nagging in my head, tugging at my heart, and the guilt seeped in.

"Haruna. My name is Haruna."

Naruto's eyes softened then, as though something in his head clicked, as though he realized something important. He closed his eyes and smiled. I pushed his shoulder playfully, and I had to wonder why he made me feel so comfortable in my own skin. There was a kindness in him I had not seen for a while. I wanted to see more of it, I wanted to understand the kindness that the town saw in him.

Naruto did not take my hand, but instead, called me by my fake name, to walk beside him.

We kept heading north, passing by rivers and more mosses of green. Had it been another life, I would've called our surroundings beautiful. I tried to imagine a world where there was no fighting, no strife, no kidnappings, and I wondered what it would be like; to live each day watching the sky in adoration, instead of in fear.


	5. road to safety

**A/N:** Okay, first thing's first is that, yes, I based the title of this chapter off the _Road to Ninja_ movie. It's my favorite Naruto movie overall, including the ones from the first part of the series. There's just something about it - maybe it's the fact that it's an alternate universe and we as fans love alternate universes. I also realize that my sense of humor is kind of whacked because I make pee jokes a lot. In this story, anyway. I'm not actually like that. Nonetheless, they were entertaining to write, and I hope you smile (even just a little bit)! Thank you for reading this story, I love you all!

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><p><strong>[ご ;; Road to Safety]<strong>

_"don't assume, ask. be kind. tell the truth. don't say anything you can't stand behind fully. have integrity, tell people how you feel"_

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><p>Naruto had tripped over his own shoes, and it sent him flying face forward to the ground. I stood in shock, stifling a laugh when he grunted and dusted himself off. It had happened a few times since we left the last town, and the first two times, Naruto laughed at himself. It got to the point where his laughs started turning into frustrated noises, which I found incredibly amusing. He walked a few steps forward before turning around, his expression annoyed.<p>

"I can hear you giggling," he said.

"I wasn't giggling!" I lied as I choked a little.

He narrowed his eyes and exhaled through his nose. I stepped forward, telling myself to calm down, my shoulders rising and falling as each deep breath was drawn and released. I walked beside him along the trail, and we were approaching an inn. I stretched my arms towards the sky and my back cracked from the many hours of traveling, causing Naruto to glance at me. We walked for a few minutes with words spoken and exchanged; about things that didn't matter, things that seemed unreachable. He never spoke of the war; never of Tsunade-sama; never of my kidnappers. He worked around sensitive topics effortlessly, and once again, it made me think about the people he'd rescued before. Had they had conversations with him like this?

He asked me what I loved doing and I smiled, telling him my favorite pastime as a child was karate. His eyes widened and he lifted his hands, as though in surrender. I laughed and asked what his favorite activity was, and he scratched his chin before telling me that it was growing plants. I nodded as he steered the conversation back to me, and I thought that plant-growing suited him; with firm, sure hands like his, anything could grow gracefully.

"Do you have a kind of escape route?" Naruto asked.

"There was a cliff that overlooked Tana, and even though it was kind of weird in principle, the view was beautiful. Made me hope that we could be that prosperous again."

"You never know - we could be."

"What about you?"

Naruto's gaze turned to me and his eyes softened before he turned again, his gaze back on the road ahead of us. He looked left and right, and reaching into his pocket as we walked, he pulled out his map. I was learning very quickly that Naruto had a habit of answering questions much later than he was expected to. I was amused at the thought that he might've been yelled at by his teachers for answering a question five minutes after it was asked.

"I'll show you. It's around here, anyway!"

"What? But you said we have to keep going! There's an inn right there!"

"We can check in afterwards! Come on, I wanna show you!"

He gestured with his head, for me to follow him, but when I didn't budge, he pulled my wrist until I stumbled forward. He laughed then, and gently released his hold, knowing I'd follow him now. The feel of his skin was warm, and I was still thinking about it as he led me through a mess of bushes. I couldn't see a path, and I couldn't understand how Naruto knew _exactly_ where we were headed. Maybe he wasn't human, or maybe he was trained to roam about without knowing where he was going.

I was beginning to feel a little claustrophobic when Naruto turned around with a smile on his face.

"Okay. Here we are. Get ready for it!"

Naruto stepped forward and prompted me to follow. My eyes absorbed the most breathtaking view - even more than the view of Tana. I could hear Naruto sigh next to me, and as though my eyes had been opened to a new phenomenon, I felt my heart melt. There were tall trees around us, birds and squirrels on them, with gentle birdsong filling the air. I stepped forward, towards the creek before us, and when I looked in the water, my eyes were reflected so clearly. Spearmint eyes; _my_ eyes.

Flowers grew around the edges of the creek, all in different colors and sizes. I stared, mesmerized. In this day and age, who could keep such a beautiful place a _secret_? I bent forward and let myself fall onto the grass, laughing as I rolled around . It felt new, and it felt utterly safe, despite the fact that it was what most people considered to be a _hiding_ place. I sat up and inhaled the fresh air. Naruto sat beside me, and when I turned to look at him, his eyes softened.

"How'd you find this place?"

"I found it by accident."

"How?"

Naruto leaned back on his palms and stretched his legs. I felt a shift in the atmosphere, and although I didn't regret asking, I was afraid of the answer. Despite his smiles and laughter, there was something about Naruto that made me uneasy. I wasn't sure of what he had to endure in his life, but I was certain that they were painful. People like him aren't born kind - they've experienced a type of pain that can't be healed, and they can do nothing but protect other people from it. Naruto's eyes glazed over as he took a deep breath and looked to where the sky would be, had the trees not been blocking our view.

"My best friend was killed. The day after his funeral, I didn't feel like sticking around. So I found this place."

I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my chin on top. I tried to find words to utter, words that would soothe his heart, but I could come up with nothing. Who knew what to say to someone who had lost their best friend? Moreover, his best friend was _killed_ - not an unknown term, but nonetheless, I still found it hard to console others who had loved ones taken away from them. I supposed it was because I hadn't dealt with it myself yet. He took another deep breath, as though the action helped him to speak. He sounded the way I did when I was trying not to cry.

"Kinda makes me forget everything for a while, y'know."

"Have you taken anyone else here?" I asked, not able to stop myself.

He feigned a thinking face, but his eyes were fixed on my face. He was searching for something, and whatever it was, he didn't find it. The crinkles in his eyes fell just the slightest bit before he smiled.

"Nope, you're the first one here, Haruna-chan!"

"Haruna-chan?" I asked, laughing.

"It's cute, isn't it?"

I nudged him with my elbow, and from where we sat, we watched the light around us slowly become darker. Because the weather was cold, I wasn't expecting creatures like fireflies to come out, but the image was still in my head.I imagined the weather was warmer, and the sky was darker. I imagined a world where the biggest secret Naruto told me was that he found solace in nature, as opposed to using it as a way to escape his traumatized heart.

Because the inn was fully booked from travelers like Naruto and I, we were forced to be pushed into one room. It wasn't a room, per se, since it was so _huge_, but the receptionist still apologized for the inconvenience. She bowed and said she'd bring us dinner in a few minutes, and when she closed the door behind her, I had to wonder how much money Naruto actually had.

He laid down on the tatami mats and stretched, his own bones and joints clearly tired from the journey. I opened the closet and took out two futons, placing them on the tatami mats. Naruto watched me as I grabbed one and set it beside the door that opened up to reveal the courtyard. He was still watching me when I grabbed a robe from the closet, and I sighed, feeling annoyed.

"Could you turn the other way?" I asked as I waved my hand.

"Why?"

"I'm about to change."

"All the more reason to look," he chuckled.

I rolled my eyes at him and lifted my hand, balling it into a fist before he lifted his hands in surrender. He sighed and turned the other way, facing the wall. I quickly shrugged out of my clothes - a worn out pair of slacks and a long-sleeved shirt to help me keep warm - and tossed them inside the basket that was labeled 'laundry.' I cleared my throat, and Naruto turned around, his expression fatigued. It was already beginning to feel strange when he didn't smile.

"Are you gonna take a bath?" he asked.

"I don't know. Maybe after we eat."

The rest of the night went by quickly, particularly when we received our food. Naruto gobbled it all up, and I watched in awe as he seemed to be inhaling his food, while I chewed slowly on the salmon before me. I tapped his cheek lightly when he looked like he didn't even take a _second_ to breathe while he was eating. It was truly an amazing sight, to see someone enjoy food so much. It made sense since he travelled so much, but I still wasn't expecting this level of gluttony.

"Are you gonna eat that?" Naruto asked as he pointed to a bowl of roe with his chopsticks.

"No, I don't eat roe."

He paused as he reached for the bowl, and he narrowed his eyes before shrugging and resuming the act of filling his stomach. I sipped the water from my cup and turned my head towards the view of the courtyard. There was a pond and I could hear the stream, and it was comfortable. It felt safe, and I felt my stomach twist at the knowledge that I couldn't get too comfortable. It was dangerous; being vulnerable only brought pain and betrayal.

I glanced at Naruto and laughed when I saw that he had dropped a sushi on the tatami mat, his expression as though he had dropped a sack of rice. Perhaps he ate so much because he never got this luxury.

"You're cleaning that up," I said.

"Do you have a cloth?"

"No, check in the closet."

I stood up and wrapped the robe tighter around me as I walked towards the platform of our room that overlooked the courtyard. I sat upon the wooden floor and allowed my legs to dangle over the ledge. Naruto followed me shortly, and I heard him snort as he sat down beside me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You're wearing socks."

I looked down and became confused; I was _always_ wearing socks in the winter.

"Yeah, so what?"

"How come you always wear them?"

I shook my head and felt my face burn up. My mother had always reminded me to wear socks as a child, and it was a habit I never grew out of. No one had ever asked me why I always wore socks - they had just seen it as a quirk and never really paid any mind to it. I tilted my head as I watched a thin branch of the tree before us fall to the ground. Naruto was holding his cup of hot tea and sipped from it every now and then, but he did not look away from me.

"Promise you won't laugh," I said dejectedly.

"Why would I?"

"Just promise, dumbass."

Naruto snorted.

"Okay, I promise."

I took a deep breath and turned my head to look at him. His eyes were wide and I knew he was paying attention, waiting for an explanation of some sorts. It wasn't a big deal, but he was one curious man. It was funny to think, in all honesty, that he was curious about the most trivial things.

"When I was little," I started, "my parents took me to travel a lot. We'd travel for days and weeks, and it was always in the winter."

He bit into a carrot that I didn't see him holding, and I smirked.

"I have a really sensitive bladder. So, to avoid having to stop every thirty minutes, my mom told me to put on socks."

"What's that supposed to do?"

"My feet won't get cold and it won't spread upwards."

Naruto stopped chewing and I was very aware of the way his lips twitched as he fought a smile. I pulled my knees to my chest and sighed, the action causing precipitation to appear before me from the heat hitting the cold. Naruto placed his cup of tea on the floor next to him, and he crossed his legs before he spoke.

"That's a cute story."

"I guess."

"I just realized something," he said.

"What's that?"

"You weren't wearing socks when I saved you."

It was silent for two seconds before we both burst out laughing. I slapped him on the shoulder and my stomach had begun to hurt from the fits of giggles and guffaw. We were breathing heavily as we settled down, Naruto's eyes filled with tears and my face turned red. Naruto laid on the floor with his own legs dangling over the ledge. He was tan - sun-kissed, even, and I couldn't help but run my eyes up his leg before I realized he wasn't wearing anything underneath the robe, either.

_Either_.

I blushed at the 'convenience' of the situation and breathed deeply to chase away inappropriate thoughts. I never had them about anyone before, and I didn't want to think that Naruto was _that_ attractive that I was thinking vulgar thoughts. Though, he certainly was very attractive. Naruto turned over and called out to me.

"Haruna-chan."

"Hmm?"

"It's gonna be hard from tomorrow onwards."

I did not answer, but instead, I turned to look him in the eye.

"What do you mean?" I whispered.

"We're entering enemy territory tomorrow. You have to be careful."

I nodded and stood up, pulling the robe tighter around me as I walked past Naruto, getting settled into my futon. Naruto did not follow immediately, and he turned out the lights before he entered the restroom, washing his face. I watched with half-closed lids, and I found that his normally bright, smiling face, turned weary and tired at night, when he thought no one could see.

He wiped his eyes, and for a second, it looked as though he was tearing up. I convinced myself that I was seeing things, and just as I thought so, he splashed more water on his face. He sniffled a few times before leaving the restroom, turning off the lights. He walked to the opposite end of the room and pulled the blanket over him. He sighed a few times, before his breathing became softer. I laid awake for a few more minutes before my own eyes gave way as slumber enveloped me in its warm embrace.

Naruto did not snore that night.


	6. anything for you

**A/N:** A lot of the chapters that I title are from songs that I am obsessed with at the time that I write them. This chapter is titled after Sufjan Stevens' "For the Widows in Paradise, For the Fatherless in Ypsilanti", a song that I got from the O.C., one of my favorite TV dramas that were so bad you could only laugh at them. Don't get me wrong, I loved the characters to death but there's something about the stuff that went down in that show that made me question what was going on inside the writers' heads. Anyway, have some lovely, badass, and beautiful Sakura - always willing to kick butt!

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><p><strong>[ろく ;; Anything for You]<strong>

_"i look at you sometimes and i get a funny feeling that you're just full of secrets"_

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><p>I had fallen asleep without noticing, and the next thing I remembered was waking up to Naruto nudging my shoulder gently, his fingers just brushing against the fabric of my satin bathrobe. I felt the way his fingers curled around my shoulder and felt just the slightest sheer of embarrassment. I rolled over and groaned, pulling the blanket over my head. As far as I knew, it was still too early to be getting on the move. He called my (fake) name softly, and I vaguely thought it was strange, because I was allowing him to treat me as though I was a child. My eyes opened at that thought and I rolled back over on my side, facing Naruto's sleepy face.<p>

"You're not even fully awake yet, hypocrite," I murmured.

"That's because we haven't had breakfast, Haruna-chan. Let's go get some!"

"Aren't they going to bring it to our room?"

"No, they want their guests to get the full experience, or something. I wasn't listening," Naruto chuckled.

I washed my face and followed Naruto out the door, pulling it shut behind me. The dining hall was immensely _crowded_, what with the tables in the hall mostly filled, except for a small one that was snugly fit for two. It almost looked like the people who would sit there would look like they were on a date of some sort. Naruto turned to look at me, a wary expression on his face. He placed his hand on my shoulder and at his touch, my body jolted. His gaze never left my face, and I realized he was asking a question as he motioned his head towards the table.

"Oh," I breathed, "yeah. That's okay. We'll sit there."

"Are you sure? It's not too close?"

"Please. It's just breakfast," I snickered.

As we sat on the soft chairs, a young waiter came to greet us and smiled brightly, though it wasn't as bright as the smile that Naruto wore. He took our order patiently, smiled, and bowed before he left to place our order. I was aware that Naruto was watching me, and I felt as though my hands were becoming sweaty from the attention. Had he known I was watching him last night? I cleared my throat and crossed my legs - a habit I only showed when I was extremely nervous - and leaned forward so he could hear me in the midst of all the laughter and chatter coming fromthe other guests.

"So, where are we off to next?"

He smiled, making my heart thump in my chest with how _slowly_ he leaned forward. I thought I was holding my breath for a few seconds.

"There's a village that's known for its medicinal herbs. We'll stop by there."

"Why?"

"We need to stock up. Just in case."

"Are you expecting to get hurt?" I laughed.

"No, but you might."

"I can take care of myself," I said stiffly.

Naruto chuckled and shrugged, leaning his broad back against his chair. He brought out his map from his pocket - and I wanted to laugh at how he always seemed to have it on his person, but the way his eyebrows scrunched together told me that this was a habit he developed after an unfortunate event took place. He scrutinized the paper before him, but he didn't make marks like he normally would. Perhaps he was just checking our route again. I watched the people that passed by our tablewith wonder - where did they come from? What were they doing? Were they living luxurious lives despite the war? I frowned at the thought, because as it was, even the people in higher social ranks were not living luxurious lives.

"Haruna-chan, your bangs are sticking to your forehead," Naruto chuckled.

When I turned to look at him, he had put his map away and was staring at me intently. There was a glint in his eyes, but it wasn't one that was harmful. My heart thumped and I felt my cheeks burn up when my brain processed what he had said, and I fumbled to push my bangs aside, fixing them properly. Naruto smiled and again, I wasn't sure how to perceive the particularly hard thump in my chest, which was now accompanied by a nervous sensation in my stomach.

_He's just doing his job_, I reminded myself.

When our food arrived, Naruto did that thing that was apparently called _eating_ and I couldn't help but stare in awe as I chewed slowly on my food. He spoke of the places he's been, and I nodded and laughed at the right times. His eyes lit up each time, and my stomach sank at the thought that this whole time, Naruto was probably one of the loneliest people I would ever come to know. He stuttered when I complimented him on the things he'd accomplished, and I even saw traces of his blushing cheeks. It made my heart fuzzy, but my subconscious was reminding **me **over and over again that this was **just** his job.

He was supposed to make the other party feel comfortable with him, so that it'd make the rescuing easier.

Naruto paid the receptionist for our breakfast, as well as for the previous night, smiling at her before walking away. I saw the widening of her eyes, and I couldn't help but smile softly and think that I knew how she felt. His smile was blinding, and his eyes made you drown. Slowly, but surely, Naruto was creating a space for himself inside my heart. I didn't know what to make of it, but I knew that I didn't want him to think he was alone. I didn't want him to think I was _just_ another person he was supposed to save.

If he understood that, perhaps we would be friends.

I was still yawning, even when daylight had fully lit up the sky and we were standing underneath it. Naruto did not utter a word as we walked, but his face was calm and content. I noted that his laughter lines were prominent, and I was struck again with his most private place; his thinking place. How could someone that was so filled with warmth and light have to suffer through so much pain? Was the world not cruel enough, to give him the task of rescuing people he had never known, and given the responsibility of guarding them with his life? I felt angry at the thought, but when Naruto smiled at me, I felt it all melt away.

He really was unfair, with how easily he could give me his brightest smile,and it was a pattern I wasn't sure I wanted to accept yet.

It took half a day to get to the village that Naruto was talking about, and by the time we got there, I felt as though my feet were slowly being scraped away. It's not that the shoes I was wearing were inconvenient, like Naruto had suggested, but it was that I hadn't walked so much in so long. I was beginning to stumble because my calves were beginning to throb, and I could see the irritation on Naruto's face, even as I tried my best to flawlessly walk forward.

"Haruna-chan, I can see you're suffering," he groaned.

"I'm fine. Come on, let's go get the herbs," I smiled.

"Not when you're moving like that."

"Naruto, come on! You said we can't waste any more time!"

His blue eyes pierced through me and there was an overwhelming sensation that spread throughout my body - almost as if I were naked, though I knew fully well that I wasn't. Naruto was standing a few meters away from me, and when he stepped forward, I felt envy at the ease and poise in his stride. He was clumsy, but there were certainlytimes when even _he_ could control his limbs. His hand reached for my cheek and I froze at how closely he came to touching my face. He motioned that there was a strand of loose hair, and I pushed it behind my ear. My skin felt hot and my breath caught in my throat. I had to keep wondering why Naruto was making me so _nervous_. He wasn't doing anything particularly exciting - he was just standing near me.

Perhaps that was it, though.

Naruto took a few steps ahead of me before he kneeled down, his arms stretched behind him. He looked over his shoulder and waited for me. I blinked, feeling baffled at what he was doing. What _was_ he doing? He sighed when I didn't seem to catch on, and the whole thought of the situation might've been comical, had my heart not been beating a thousand kilometers per minute.

"Come on," he urged.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"You can't walk. Get on my back!"

"_What_?! No way. That's asking for too much, even from me, Naruto," I said, offended.

"We'll get there much faster if you get on my back."

"_No way in hell_," I spat.

Naruto's brow furrowed together when he turned to look at me, his hands falling limply at his side. Certainly, it was difficult to walk, but that didn't mean he had to offer a _piggy back ride_. It wasn't so much that I was uncomfortable with them, but it was more the fact that _Naruto_ was offering them, and it made me feel self-conscious. For one thing, I was thinking things about him that couldn't possibly be labeled as normal. For another thing, it hadbeen a while since someone was this considerate, and I wasn't sure what to make of it.

"So you're just going to walk?" he asked, finally.

"Yes. I'll drag myself if I have to."

I tried to keep my face as least contorted as possible as I walked forward, but I still heard Naruto chuckle behind me. His footsteps were quiet and slow and I was, for some odd reason, irritated that he was waiting for me to walk first. I held my own, even as the irritation seeped into my jaw and made me grind my teeth together. I focused on the herbal shop I saw ahead of me, telling myself that we'd get there soon, that we'd get there without Naruto lifting me or dragging me forward. I groaned when my calves began to throb, but Naruto still did not utter a word.

He was a smart man for not opening his mouth.

It took longer than it should have, but eventually we stood facingthe entrance of the herbal shop. The door was made of glass and I vaguely wondered why the shopkeeper didn't cover up the shop more. I placed my hand on the handle when Naruto cleared his throat. I looked to him and he wore an amused expression, the corners of his lips twitching, fighting to laugh. I didn't know what he found so funny, but just as I raised my eyebrow, he shook his head.

"You look so excited," he said.

I rolled my eyes at him as I snorted. Of _course_ I was excited; we were shopping for medicinal herbs. I hadn't felt this calm in years, since the very last time Tsunade-sama and I went to look for plants to mix together. I pushed the door and hobbled inside, with Naruto on my heel. A red-haired woman with glasses stood at the counter, an extremely bored expression on her face. How someone was bored in an _herbal_ shop, I would never understand. I looked around the shop and a surge of an emotion that felt similar to warmth spread throughout my veins. I remembered when Tsunade-sama took me to one of these shops for the first time - it was truly an experience to be able to feel the different plants with the tips of my fingers, to be able to smell them as I chose which herbs to buy.

Naruto, of course, was not aware of my obsession.

"Uh. You okay there? You look like you're having a sensory overload," he said, his voice wary.

"I'm fine. I just haven't been to one of these places for a while," I murmured as I stepped towards the left wing of the shop.

Naruto shrugged and walked ahead to the counter and began speaking casually to the redhead, whose expression had not changed, even with Naruto smiling widely. It seemed they were well-acquainted, by the way Naruto called her by her first name, Karin. Naruto spoke with her animatedly, and I wanted to laugh at the display of energy that couldn't seem to reach the girl, but I kept my mouth shut tight as I perused the small aisles.

Each shelf that I passed contained different sizes of crucibles, and different types of herbs and plants. Some were made of glass, some of rock. The ones made of rock were more effective for herbs that had a strong smell - which, of course, were effective for long-term wounds. The ones made of glass were for temporary wounds, such as headaches. I ran through a list of possibilities inside my head as I picked up crucible after crucible, examining the feel of it against my palm. I looked around the shop for plantain leaves, and was delightfully impressed that they had more than enough near the windows. Tsunade-sama always reminded me to have some plantain on my person even if it seemed likely that someone wasn't going to get a cut.

Naruto watched me from the counter with a small smile on his lips, and I noticed Karin had left to go out back.

"What'd you tell her that scared her off?" I scoffed.

"I just asked her if she was free later," Naruto answered, his face completely serious and his tone deadpan.

My heart dropped a little and I nodded, feeling embarrassed that I asked.

"Oh. So, is she?" I asked as I ducked my head, pretending that a bowl made of solid rock caught my attention.

"She is, but she has rules about sex on a first date."

"Sex on a first _date_?" I asked cautiously, feeling my veins prickle with irritation.

"Haruna-chan. I'm kidding. She's my cousin," he said, his tone softer.

My head snapped up to look at him, and his eyes were apologetic. I nodded and continued perusing the aisles, my heart rate slowing down. If I wasn't careful, I would've let out a terribly huge sigh, and Naruto would've known that something was off. Knowing him as long as I have (which wasn't that long, to be frank), he would think that I had to pee again. I wanted to laugh at how easily amused I was at the thought of Naruto thinking I always wanted to pee, but Naruto's watchful eyes kept me from eliciting any sound.

"You seemed annoyed," he pointed out after a few seconds.

"Me? No way," I laughed, my heart thudding in my ears.

"Well, like I said. She's my cousin, so there's nothing to worry about."

He was so _frustrating_, and his teasing manner was smeared all over his smug face when I turned to look at him. I cleared my throat and pulled some Rose plants and calendula, taking them up to the counter. I grabbed a few more things from the shelves that I knew we'd need, and in case of emergencies, I pulled a few more plants and leaves that were useful for bleeding. You never knew who would spring out from nowhere and hurt us.

I tapped my fingers against the counter as I stood next to Naruto, and when Karin emerged from the back again, she was holding a bottle of what seemed to be sake. I froze at the sight, and not because I had never seen alcohol (Tsunade-sama was a big drinker!), but because I had genuinely thought it was supposed to be a remedy in the form of liquid, for wounds and scrapes, and maybe, gashes.

I turned to Naruto, and I felt my eyes narrow when he laughed.

"You never know when we're gonna need to wind down," he said easily.

"You idiot, we're traveling! You can't just take -" I stopped speaking abruptly as I realized I was about to reveal that Naruto had a _mission_ to keep my life safe.

"It's okay, Haruna-chan. It'll prove useful," he said solemnly as he took out the money to pay Karin.

"You owe me, Naruto. It took a _lot_ of money to get this in such a short time!"

"Karin, you went to the store behind this shop."

"_Still_, it was a lot of effort," Karin rolled her eyes as she rang up the register and placed our purchases into a paper bag.

"Uh, thanks, Karin. If we come by here again, I'll make sure Naruto pays you back," I said politely, but the red-haired woman (surprisingly) gave me a smile of her own. It was warm and not at all heartless like I thought it would be. She even emitted the same energy as Naruto, which wasn't all _that_ surprising.

"No need for that! I'm always nagging Naruto, but he's my cousin so I cut him slack."

"Liar," Naruto pouted.

Karin rolled her eyes and ruffled his hair before bowing to me, telling me to come by again someday. I handed Naruto the paper bag and he carefully placed it in the bag he held, careful not to break the glass crucibles, or to destroy the delicate leaves and herbs. He offered me a smile as he slung the bag onto his back, and I pushed the door open, the sound of the door opening ringing in my ears as we walked out. Naruto hummed a tune as we walked, but there was something different about the way his lips didn't lift at the corners.

"Karin has one of the best medicinal shops in Salji," Naruto said.

"Is that so?"

"Tsunade-sama accredited it. Karin was just a normal drugstore before that."

Naruto hadn't brought up Tsunade-sama in sucha long time that hearing her name leave his lips made me double back, thinking I heard wrong. He wore his grim expression, though, and I figured he was being considerate and respectful - only mentioning my teacher's name when necessary. I nodded and continued to walk beside him, feeling a little anxious that he wasn't as chatty as before. He wasn't even making stupid jokes, and the fact that he wasn't made my hair stand on end.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Shh, they'll hear you," Naruto replied calmly, but his feet continued to step forward.

I gulped, and the sensation caused my stomach to churn. There was something - some_one_ - that was hiding in the shadows, and Naruto was fully aware of it. Why had he brought us to Karin's shop, then? I watched his hand go into his pocket, and from the looks of it, his fingers curled around something. My shoulders tensed at the change in atmosphere - the last time Naruto was in action, he had taken his enemies lightly, and still succeeded.

I idly wondered what he was like when he took someone seriously. I almost shivered at the thought.

Without realizing it, I inched closer to Naruto, and not because I was looking for someone to protect me. My senses, though not as keen as they used to be, were telling me that _I _was not the person they were after. I took a half step in front of Naruto, attempting to shield him from whatever was about to come out.

Naruto breathed and I felt it tickle the back of my neck, and in that moment, everything happened too fast. Naruto was taken away before I could call out his name.

I was grabbed by my arms and kicked in my lower back, the force almost breaking my arms. I turned around to land a punch square in his face and didn't even process what he looked like. They were all the same; wearing masks that covered half their faces, only revealing their dark, sombereyes. Two more men came at me with weapons in their hands, but I reminded myself not to panic, that panic would bring an ugly end.

I lifted one leg high up in the air and brought it down onto the first man's shoulder, causing him to hit the ground with a loud thud, possibly breaking a bone or two. I spun before my foot touched the ground and kicked the other one in the face. They both were bleeding, and with efficiency, I twisted each of their arms before taking their weapons and majorly wounding anyone else that came near me. My eyes went back and forth and a thin sheet of sweat formed on my forehead. The ones without weapons were holding their arms up in the air, and their eyes were filled with terror that was not previously there.

"Who are you people?!" I shouted.

They remained standing, too afraid to move. A few of them were trembling, and I tensed my arms, telling myself to prepare for an attack. My eyes watched them closely despite them clearly showing no sign of attack. I had no time to look at their eyes individually - I had no time to find fear in them. They were _terrified_, and for what reason, I already knew. They weren't expecting Naruto to be with someone that could fight.

"If anyone moves," I breathed, "I'll castrate all of you."

I did not completely remove myself from the defensive stance, but a man I had struck down with a hard kick to his shin flexed his fingers, reaching for a rock near his head. I pretended not to notice - these things were more fun when you made the enemy think you were caught off-guard, after all. He slowly rose to his feet and I turned my head to the side, watching him with pity I reserved for scum like him.

"Aren't you brave," I chuckled lightly as I approached him, my shoes digging into the cold earth.

I held his face between my fingers and his eyes stared up at me, frenzied. He tried to move his limbs and I watched as he struggled helplessly. The truth was that I didn't like taking other people's lives. I didn't like to hear them scream, and I didn't like to see their blood. Even with these thoughts in my head, I pressed the knife to the man's throat, so dangerously close to his jugular. His body went still when I grazed the knife against his skin, admiring the way the pressure caused his skin to become pale.

"Do you want to watch your friend die?" I asked, and the rest of the group collectively released a strangled breath.

They fidgeted, and from the corner of my eye, I saw their eyebrows scrunch together in confusion, in turmoil. They did not want to leave him, they did not want him to die. The man before me whimpered, his breath leaving his nose harshly as he desperately tried to breathe properly, with tears beginning to form in his eyes. I felt sympathy for him, but I tightened my jaw to keep from giving them an opportunity to attack me.

"Where is he?" I asked, my tone cold.

No one answered. They merely looked back and forth at each other for an answer, for some kind of miracle that would enable them to take my life. It was too bad that they were our enemies, and not our allies.

"I _said_, where _is_ he?" I spat through my teeth, causing the man before me to grind his teeth from the sheer shock.

He whimpered again and I smiled, though my heart was lurching at the fact that I was making someone so fearful of me. It was entirely new, and I wasn't sure I liked the feeling. I was always patient, and it was both thrilling and terrifying that these men, whom I had never met, were worried about the next move I was going to make.

"Sorry, buddy," I whispered, genuinely feeling remorse, "but they'll remember how brave you were." He began breathing heavily as his whole body trembled, his eyes frantically turning to his friends. A split second later, I had drawn the knife deep into his neck, slicing cleanly through the skin and dropping my hold on the man's face immediately but his blood still oozed messily into my hands. It was hot - almost burning - and I reminded myself I needed to find a stream to wash off my hands later.

When I turned to look at the rest of the men, their faces were white with terror. The ones who continued to hold their weapons dropped them to the ground. They were watching me with wary eyes, and I was beginning to feel sympathetic again.

"If you don't tell me where Naruto is, the same thing will happen to you."

With his other hand, the first man I knocked down pointed towards a mess of forest behind Karin's shop, and I nodded. I inhaled through my nose and stared at them, feeling sorry for the man who hired them to become murderers. Despite the fact that they were very clearly enemies, I didn't think anyone deserved to feel that pressure to kill, or to survive. Though, of course, it was only natural and was bound to happen at some point during this age of war.

"You should run," I whispered, "so that the man who hired you won't kill you."

They all ran off at the speed of light, all their weapons and necessities left behind at my feet. I grabbed a few of their belongings - bandages and clean cloths - and stuffed them into my pocket, still frowning at the fact that I needed to clean my hands properly. I ran towards the forest, pushing through big leaves and reminding myself that I needed to get there quickly. When I found Naruto, he was lying on the floor and his stomach had been ripped open with streams of blood oozing. No internal organs were showing, and at that realization, I moved quickly to his side. He was losing the color in his face.

I checked for his heartbeat and though it was faintly beating, he was conscious. His bright eyes were closed and my fingers worked efficiently to stop the bleeding. His bag was nowhere to be found, and I wanted to kick myself at the fact that I wasn't quick enough. I looked next to me and there were a few plants that I could use as a substitute, and with quick feet, I pulled them out of the ground and grabbed some rocks to help crush it. I called Naruto's name as I ground the leaves together, fighting back the tears that threatened to blind my vision. _You'll be okay, you'll be fine_.

I spread the destroyed leaves along his wounds, and Naruto flinched at the contact. Making haste, I pulled out the cloths from my pocket and quickly wrapped them around his wound to serve as bandages, cringing when Naruto's breath left his nose harshly. I tried to be gentler as I pressed small bouts of pressure to his wound, praying to the gods that the substitute leaves would help at least a little.

I brushed his face of the dirt and pushed his hair out of his eyes, whispering his name again. People like Naruto - people that had suffered great lengths, weren't meant to die like this. I told myself that I had done what I could, and the only thing left to do now was wait. I continued to press my fingers against his wound, willing the leaves to work. I laid by his side and looked towards the tall trees. My body was slowly becoming fatigued, and as my eyes fluttered closed, all I could see was Naruto's stupid grin.


	7. old skin

**A/N:** A few of my friends that read this story kept asking me why I like to torture my readers with prolonging sexual tension? But I don't do that? What do you **mean** I do that? And even if I **did** do that, I would just give little hints and bits and pieces of information on two characters who are obviously so in love with each other. I'm kidding, I **do** do this, I actually bask in the tears of my friends because it means that my storytelling skills are improving. Even the lengths of the chapters are getting longer at this point, which I am very happy with. I can't remember who sings "Old Skin", tell me if you know who sings it. Review are very much appreciated!

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><p><strong>[なな ;; Old Skin]<strong>

_"we always see our worst selves. our most vulnerable selves. we need someone else to get close enough to tell us we're wrong. someone we trust."_

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><p>I didn't know how else to describe it. My limbs were heavy and my eyes felt as though they were glued shut. I tried to move my arms and lift them, to touch anything I could reach for, but they wouldn't move no matter how much I willed them to. It was dark and the only thing that I could feel - the only thing that caught my attention - was the dull pain in my ankle. I knew that no one had stabbed it, but it felt <em>different<em> somehow. It was throbbing softly, but it started to subside when I felt skilled fingers putting gentle pressure against the wound.

I tuned in to the feel of calloused hands as they grazed carefully on my skin - as though measuring how much pressure they can give, how much pain would be emitted from the pressure. He whistled every now and then, and he would unwrap the bandage when he was uncertain of the pressure he was exerting. I could see his scrunched up face behind my eyelids, and I wanted to smile. I figured I would as soon as I could open my eyes.

"I was beginning to think you were an endurer of pain," he whispered in a low voice.

I wanted to laugh at the clear sarcasm, but my neck was too stiff. I gulped and very carefully allowed my limbs to relax. I opened one eye at a time, and when my eyes adjusted, Naruto was holding my leg in his lap as he regarded my very swollen ankle with concern. I felt my heart thump in my chest when he rubbed his thumb along my heel. It was a simple gesture, but I was ticklish and the fact that I didn't laugh spoke levels of the amount of comfort I was in whenever he was in close proximity. I watched as he pressed his thumb against the base of my ankle before gently wrapping up the bandage and holding it together with a pin. He looked up at me then - and the raw emotion in his eyes made me feel embarrassed. Though, there was no _need_ to feel embarrassed. He was just treating my leg, after all.

"You're right. I kind of am," I smiled when he started putting away the small first aid kit.

He leaned my body against the bark of a large tree that provided shelter from the sun during the summers, and it was comfortable enough that my eyes began fluttering close again. He paced around the space around us for a few minutes before he sat, facing the stream of water near us. He rubbed the back of his neck, a habit I noticed that only presented itself when he was distressed, and he leaned back on his hands. He didn't utter a single word, and the atmosphere was starting to change.

Holding onto the tree for support, I lifted myself off the grass and dragged myself to where Naruto sat. He became alarmed when he turned, but I waved my hand at him, telling him I was fine. His whole body tensed, even after I managed to sit down beside him, but he didn't argue. I sighed deeply and the air before my nose turned to vapor. It was getting colder, day by day. If we didn't hurry to where Naruto was taking us, I knew it'd be dangerous - and not just for me. Even though he said he was used to it, I worried about Naruto, because he was awfully kind. You weren't supposed to believe people like him, who said they were used to things that others were not.

You were never supposed to trust that they're _okay_ with bad things happening.

"Sorry we're not there sooner," he said, his tone genuine.

"That's okay. Can't be helped."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, his expression calm.

"A little better. As long as I don't pressure on my ankle, of course."

"Who knew you'd bruise easily?"

"Not me, obviously," I smiled.

He chuckled and sighed, closing his eyes this time. I couldn't help but watch him - the way his chest rose and fell, the way the corners of his lips lifted even when he wasn't smiling, the way the lines of his face never seemed to show he was weary. I questioned whether he was ever exhausted, be it physically or emotionally. With a job like his, I'd have thought that it might've been emotionally draining, to have to save so many people you couldn't get attached to. I frowned.

"What is it?" Naruto asked, with his eyes still closed.

"What's what?"

"You're fidgeting, I can hear you."

"You can _hear_ me?"

"One of the perks of being a mercenary," he chuckled.

I was beginning to think that whenever he chuckled, it was more because he was trying to block something out. As though he was trying not to remember something - as though he was atoning for something he'd done. I didn't know him well enough, obviously, but judging from what I already knew, he'd seem like the type to never forgive himself for being unable to fulfill whatever duty he'd been assigned by anyone. Most of the time, people like him took on heavy responsibilities that they weren't obligated to, and would beat themselves up if they failed to succeed. At that thought, I felt my heart drop to my stomach.

"Naruto," I said.

"Yeah?"

"What's it like? Being a mercenary."

Naruto furrowed his brow before his shoulders relaxed. He was concentrating. He laid down until the back of his head touched the grass, and it was only then that he opened his eyes. They weren't that familiar blue fire I adored staring at - but they were a dull blue that could only be described as lonely - just as the winter sky above us. I couldn't stop staring, but when Naruto inhaled a small breath of air, I turned towards the stream in front of us and waited for him to speak.

"It's not so bad," he began, "but there are things I wish I could change."

"Like what?"

"Well, for one thing. Some people treat mercenaries like they're inhuman. Both in the good way and in the bad way. Sometimes. they treat us like we're gods, and sometimes, like we're trash."

His breath caught in his throat, but I didn't utter a word. I didn't dare look at him.

"It's like, so many people hire you because they think you're good, but no one cares about your feelings. No one cares if the person you're trying to save is someone from enemy lands. But that's what it means to be a mercenary, I guess."

"Do you still hate it?" I asked softly.

"No. I don't. But I gotta admit that sometimes, it's difficult being one. You lose things all the time."

I waited for him to say more, but the pattern in his breathing began to change, and it dawned upon me that Naruto was not ready. He wasn't ready to talk about his best friend, or the day his best friend was killed. How long ago had it been that his best friend was killed? Was it before the war? Right after the war started? Was it _years_ ago? I cringed at the thought of a teenage Naruto having to deal with the pain of losing his closest friend. I cringed at the mere thought of a teenage Naruto fighting off adult enemies all alone - afraid and suffering.

"Sometimes," he finally said, "things don't go your way and then you don't get paid."

"That must be rough," I answered.

"When I first started out, yeah. I got used to it, though."

He sighed before continuing.

"But I met some pretty awesome people that are taking care of me."

"Even now?"

"Yep, they're waiting for us back at the shelter."

"What are they like?" I asked, not being able to stop myself.

"One's my teacher, the guy that trained me. His name's Kakashi. He's kinda like a brother. A much older brother."

"That must be nice," I smiled.

"It is. Always looking out for me. There's Kurama, too, but he's an ass."

I laughed, and I heard Naruto chuckle. It was more genuine this time, too. It was less filled with emptiness, and more with amusement, just like it's meant to be. The fire didn't return to his eyes when he spoke of the different missions and jobs he took on, but there was a smile playing on the corner of his lips. It looked cynical; lonely, maybe even a little bit resentful. He sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, and I had to wonder if Naruto had ever worn a wary expression in front of anyone. I sucked in a breath through my nose and forced myself to ignore my pounding heart.

"You know, you were talking about your best friend," I said.

"Yeah, what about him, Haruna-chan?"

"You said… he was killed. I, uh, just. How…?" I stuttered, not sure about my decision to ask him.

"Ah, that," he whispered, "that was mostly because of the enemy."

"The enemy?"

"Yeah. They were too skilled."

His voice was clipped and it was devoid of emotion. Even though he was answering my question, I felt as though there was something he wasn't allowing himself to say. I rested my chin against my knees and stayed quiet - and not because I felt guilty, but because I didn't know how to talk to him about his best friend without sounding too nosy. From what he'd told me, none of the other people he'd rescued and saved had been this kind to him. I remembered the way his face lit up when he said it, the night he took me from Juugo and Suigetsu. His eyes were filled with a passion I hadn't seen in years, and his smile could have blinded me with how wide it was. I wanted to remember _that_ Naruto, not the Naruto beside me, whose eyes had lost their spark.

"Speaking of mercenary jobs," Naruto said, "how were those guys defeated if I was here?"

At the memory of the man's blood in my hands and with his throat cut open, I felt all the blood rush to my head. I remembered I felt sympathetic for the man, and I also remembered the way his eyes appeared to be begging, right before I covered them with my free hand. I thought about the men surrounding me, and how they seemed confused, and even more surprisingly, _afraid_ of me. A girl who they had never met, who had killed their comrade.

"I beat them," I said flatly.

Naruto did not laugh, nor did he question me. He wasn't angry, but he wasn't completely relieved. I could see him turn to look at me from the corner of my eye, and I saw him rub the back of his neck. Distress. He was worried, and for what reason, I wasn't sure I wanted to understand. Naruto inched himself closer to me, and even though I wasn't showing any signs of discomfort, Naruto's shoulders were still tense. Was he afraid I'd beat him, too?

"You beat _all_ of them?" he asked, his eyes wide in bewilderment.

"No, of course not!" I rolled my eyes.

"Then?"

"I beat one. Only one. And the rest just ran away," I answered.

"What do you mean you _beat_ only one?"

I inhaled softly through my mouth, trying to make the nausea disappear. Trying not to let it get the better of me. Tsunade-sama always told me that the first time you kill someone, the pressure will overwhelm you so much that it'll cause the bile in your stomach to slosh around until you vomit. It happened to the best of people, she reminded me. But I was not the best of people. I reminded myself to suck in breaths quickly, so that I could no longer taste the bile in my throat.

"Hey, hey," Naruto said, his hands moving to my shoulders and pulling me into his chest.

I was hyperventilating and tears began to sting my eyes.

"It's okay," Naruto cooed as he stroked my hair with his big hand.

"I killed him. I _killed_ someone. I've never - I would never…" I said, not being able to finish my thoughts.

"I know. I know," Naruto whispered as he wrapped his arms tighter around me.

It was safe and it was calming, to hear his heartbeat that was steady and unwavering. Just like his personality, just like the way he led me all the way here - with a confidence no one else I knew could match. He pulled me into his lap without me noticing and he rocked me as he cooed, telling me it was okay, it was alright. That I was strong, and that I had no choice. I nodded into his neck and let him rub my back. Before long, the sky turned dark.

Naruto had reached for some water and told me to take small sips. He watched as I did, and because his face was so _close_, I climbed out of his lap and sat next to him instead, trying to still my erratic heartbeat. It took about half the container of water he'd brought, but I was able to breathe steadily again. The nausea had disintegrated, and the color returned to my face. We didn't move from our spot, where we sat and stared at the stream. Naruto didn't say anything at first, but he kept glancing at me. When my breathing had finally returned to normal, Naruto chuckled. I turned to look at him, my eyebrow cocked in question.

"I shouldn't have asked that."

"What? Why not?"

"Because," he smiled, "I should've figured they ran away from you."

I raised my eyebrow.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you were feisty enough that you chased them away," he laughed, the sound jubilant and hopeful.

I smiled and rested my hands against my knees, beginning to feel the cold getting to the tips of my fingers. I rubbed my hands together and blew on them, attempting to prevent frostbite and whatnot, when Naruto stood up. He looked around, and it was almost funny, because it was dark and I had to wonder how he could _always_ see things in the dark. It was almost as though he had some kind of special power, but then again, maybe he was trained to be able to see in the dark. Probably to spot enemies or spies that threatened Salji.

I was about to turn my head back towards the stream when I heard a particularly loud stomach, and started laughing when I realized it wasn't mine.

"That hungry, huh?" I laughed.

"We have to eat. It's been hours, Haruna-chan!"

"Okay, okay. I'll go," I said as I started to stand up.

"What're you, a masochist? We'll wait until morning."

"You're _starving_."

"Yeah, but an enemy could spring out of nowhere."

"Naruto," I laughed as I unzipped the bag, "we have weapons."

"We do?" he replied, puzzled.

"If anyone comes near me, I have knives, Naruto. No one would dare."

As he mulled it over, I sighed and began grabbing nearby sticks and rocks, piling them into the middle of where we sat. Naruto sighed and began hunting for small animals, while I made rods out of sticks so that we could fish. Naruto had caught two rabbits, and my eyes widened because it really was a treat compared to the very first night we spent in the woods, but of course, it had nothing on the meal we shared at the inn. I left the rods untouched as I started the fire, with Naruto sitting across from me. He reached into the bag and pulled out bowls and spoons, his expression calm.

Out of all the times I've seen Naruto's calm expression, this was probably the closest I would get to see him content. The crinkles in his eyes had relaxed, and his lips were pulled upwards into an easy smile. He cooked the meat and cut it with a knife, pushing a lot of it onto my plate. I looked at him with my brow furrowed. He merely grinned, and told me that I needed it more than him. I wanted to argue, but he had begun eating and looked as though he was in absolute bliss as the taste reached every nerve of his body.

"You had to be really good at fighting if you scared them," Naruto said between bites.

"Chew with your mouth closed," I groaned, "but yeah. I guess so."

He made a point of showing me that he was chewing with his mouth closed, and then swallowed the meat, his throat making an obvious gulp. He drank from the canister of water and sighed before setting his bowl next to him.

"Where'd you learn to be so brave?" he asked.

I couldn't stop from smiling, but I thought over my answer carefully. Obviously, I couldn't tell him that Tsunade-sama was the one that taught me. Growing up, I was a sort of secret from everyone else. That's why it was easy to lie to people, to tell them that my name was Haruna, when in fact, it was Sakura. No one had suspected I was lying, and I supposed it was because I had perfected the lie. I smiled as I set down my bowl, feeling a smidge of guilt tug at my heart.

"I had a teacher. She taught me everything."

"She must've been a great woman."

"How do you know?"

"Well. She passed on _something_ to you, didn't she?"

I felt saddened by Naruto's impression that Tsunade-sama had passed something onto me. Certainly, she had taught me how to fight and defend myself, but I could never imagine that I inherited her sense of responsibility, or her overwhelming desire to protect those she loved. Tsunade-sama was a noble woman, and she knew that she couldn't abandon certain people. I happened to be one of those people, but even so, I told Naruto I was flattered to be compared with someone so admirable. The truth, of course, was that I was absolutely devastated.

I could never be like Tsunade-sama.

We sat by the stream after dinner, and we washed the bowls and spoons together as we talked about the most trivial of things. I learned that Naruto's favorite color was orange, and he learned mine was spearmint. His favorite food, when he wasn't traveling, was ramen, and I told him mine was those sweet jelly puddings that came in cans. I rolled my eyes when he told me his master had trained him to be perverted, and he laughed when I told him I had a habit of kicking off my shoes whenever I entered a building. I thought it was a common habit that most people had, but by the way Naruto was laughing, I thought that perhaps, he hadn't heard of someone with that habit before.

After we had packed away our supplies, we leaned against a tree bark and watched the moon. It was a full moon that night and the stars had come out to play. With a tone that was different than the previous times, Naruto informed me that we had to leave first thing in the morning. I nodded, knowing that my wound would've been much better by dawn. All I needed was some rest, and with the wound in Naruto's stomach, it was the same for him. He needed as much as he could get.

"Kakashi and Kurama are waiting for us at the shelter," Naruto said.

"Did they assign you this mission to save me?"

"Yeah. They told me I couldn't fail, too."

"Have you ever, before?"

Naruto didn't answer, but instead, he smiled sadly. I ducked my head, understanding the answer. Of _course_ he'd failed before. Of _course_ someone had gotten hurt under his care.

A few droplets of water had begun to fall onto my forehead, and at first, I thought it was snow. But when the droplets began to fall downwards towards my cheeks, Naruto pulled me up by the hand and I hobbled over with him to a tree where there was more shelter from the rain. I sat down and he reached for the blanket he was intending to give to me on our first night in the woods. He covered me with it, making sure it was snug and secure. He began to walk away, and I cleared my throat, clearly confused.

"What're you doing?" I shouted over the heavy rain.

"Finding shelter," he shouted back.

I gestured with my hand at the blanket in my lap and he stared at me, as though I was suggesting the most incredulous of things. I pat the space next to me with my palm, and even though my heart was thundering as loud as the rain, I kept a straight face. Naruto opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly clamped it shut. He took slow steps back towards me and sat down where I motioned to, his expression tense. He moved easily enough, but there was something written on his face that made me wonder what he was thinking about.

I pulled half the blanket off me and wrapped it around him. He watched me as I tucked it at his sides, making sure he was warm. I reminded myself that it was raining and cold, and that if we didn't share body heat, one of us could die. I looked up at him then and he smiled, a questioning look in his eyes.

"To keep us both warm," I whispered, despite the rain.

Naruto nodded and pressed his shoulder against mine as he settled into the position. We watched the rain with wistful eyes, and I prayed that from now on, things would be better. For both Naruto and I. I sighed as I remembered the splinters of guilt that would poke at my heart when I lied to him about myself, but I tried to reason with myself.

As much as I trusted Naruto, I didn't know to what extent he could keep a secret.

I glanced over to him to find that he was watching me, a concerned expression on his face. I smiled softly at him and continued to watch the rain. Perhaps, there was a way out of the past, a way out of misery - for the both of us. I closed my eyes and prayed to God, hoping that he'd hear my prayer - that I'd be able to become strong for the both of us.


	8. all that's left

**A/N:** Before I wrote this chapter, I was asking myself how long it would be for Naruto and Sakura to travel. I was sorta laughing at myself because it seemed like **forever** and I thought you guys would think it was taking forever, too. Originally, this was going to be another one of those "adventure" chapters where they get to know each other better but that's... freaking ridiculous. I think if I knew another writer like me, I'd be so mad at them for having me so invested in their story and they just rip my heart out. I love you guys though, because despite what I do temporarily to the story, you still read on, expecting more from me. I don't deserve to have people put their faith in my writing, but I'm so glad and grateful for those who **do** read my stuff! Reviews are much appreciated!

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><p><strong>[はち ;; All that's Left]<strong>

_"it's both a burden and a blessing to feel everything as deeply as i do"_

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><p>We woke up early to escape the rain. It had gotten heavier, but Naruto figured it would stop in the afternoon. He was wrong, of course. I could still hear the rain outside, even after two hours of sitting in the waiting area of the shelter. It was more of a <em>ryokan<em> than a shelter, though, I had to admit. The set up of the room gave more of a homey atmosphere, almost like it was a place where people could stay just to stay safe. I tried to stay occupied, walking around to explore the other rooms, but before I knew it, I was right back where Naruto told me to stay. I sat down in the large, comfortable chairs when my legs became tired, and I walked around when they were starting to feel cramped. I had always _hated_ waiting, and the fact that time seemed to stretch did not help my patience. I fell back onto a sofa that was much too comfortable, and before I knew it, I was yawning incessantly.

I closed my eyes for a mere five seconds, when someone stood before me and grabbed me by my wrists.

"What -"

"Who are you?"

I was faced with a man around the same age as Naruto. His eyes were dark, as was his hair - but his skin was a ghostly white. He had no expression on his face - not fear, nor anger - not even suspicion. He was absolutely complacent, but his grip on my wrists could very easily crush my bones.

"What are you _doing_? Let go of me!" I spat.

"Who are you?" he repeated, his tone cold.

"Haruna. I came with Naruto."

His eyes sparked, and there was a glint in them.

"No last name?"

"No, let go of me," I said, softer this time.

His eyes did not bore into me, but nonetheless, he continued to stare. His fingers slowly came undone and his hands came to rest at his sides. He pursed his lips, as though he was going over something in his head. I scoffed and sat back down on the sofa, crossing my arms. He took the seat across from me, and his brow scrunched together. He leaned forward, and even when he offered me a small smile, I kept my guard up. In all honesty, he couldn't have been _that_ dangerous, but it was better to be safe than sorry.

"What brings you here?"

"I told you. I'm with Naruto."

He tilted his head, his expression curious now.

"What do you mean 'with' him? How long have you been -"

"Not _that_ with. He brought me here."

The man nodded and sat back against his seat, bringing his legs up close to his chest. He tapped his fingers against the arm of the sofa he sat on, and he seemed to lose interest. I huffed out a breath of relief. A lot had happened in the last few weeks or so, ever since I _met_ Naruto. I was kidnapped from the shelter I spent years at, I was almost killed by people who knew my real name, I was rescued by Naruto, and everything that happened from there would have felt like an adventure, if there was no war. But who was I kidding? There would always be war. Everything that had happened had been the result of Tana declaring war on Salji. We were all suffering, and there was more suffering to come. I ran my fingers through my hair, tugging at the tips gently. I was beginning to fear what was going to happen, now that I was here. Would I cause more calamity? Ever since Tsunade-sama died, I protected my identity because I was afraid of being attacked. All I wanted was to keep living.

"Are you the girl that got kidnapped?" the man whispered, but he wasn't looking at me.

I didn't answer.

"Naruto mentioned it when I ran into him just now."

"Mentioned it? How do you just _mention_ something like that?" I asked, feeling mildly amused.

"He said it was important we protect you."

I frowned. Of course Naruto would say something like that - he was a mercenary. He had done this job countless times before, and so had other people. The only difference was that his resolve had not weakened - he held onto it and continued to practice it, because he genuinely believed that this was his duty. I thought about the creek and the way the light in his eyes darkened at the mention of his best friend. The night Naruto saved me, I remembered how he said people always made him sleep outside the tent - without a blanket, without a pillow. No warmth, no kindness. My heart began to swell, and more than anything, I wanted to prove that people with hearts still existed.

"How long has he been a mercenary?" I whispered.

"Since he was a kid."

I began to feel my heart fall.

"Did he lose his parents?"

"He never met his father."

"And his mother?"

"Murdered. While he was on a mission."

I sat still, trying to comprehend why, or _how_, someone thought that sending a child to become a mercenary was such a good idea. I didn't remember much about my own childhood, except for the faces of my parents and Tsunade-sama. They were the driving forces in my life, and when my parents were killed and Tsunade-sama was assassinated, I knew that I had no one left. But for someone like Naruto to lose his family the way he did?

It was unfair.

It created a whole new perspective for me, for how I saw him, and even how other people saw him. I rubbed the back of my neck, pressing on the pressure point found there, and I let my head rest against the back of my chair. With someone like Naruto, you could never feel pity, because it was too insulting to who they are in the present. I shifted my head to look at the man better, and his expression did not change. He was almost eerie, creepy - someone you generally shouldn't talk to. I gulped.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"Sai," he replied coolly, without averting his eyes to look at me.

"Have you been a mercenary since you were a kid?"

"I was raised here, but I'm not from here. So no."

"What do you mean?" I asked.

I waited for an answer, and it was only then that he lifted his eyes, his face filled with more emotion than before. Rather than his cold expressions, he gave a small smile - one that wasn't big enough to be called happy, but not small enough to be called sad. He rested his elbows on his thighs, and looked at me rather closely.

"I'm originally an orphan from Tana."

I blinked once, twice, then countless times. I began to feel panic, and my mouth couldn't form words. I stared at him, and he did not laugh or smile. He waited for a reaction of some sort - whether it was for me to laugh, or start yelling slurs. I took a deep breath and was about to make an attempt at pretending I wasn't afraid, when Naruto came into the room with a silver-haired man. He wore a mask and held a book in his hand - though it was too small of a book to be anything educational. I fixed my eyes on them, hoping they'd ease the tension I was feeling.

"Sai, stop scaring her. She's freaked out as it is," the silver-haired man sighed.

"Yeah, she doesn't need to hear about your past right now," Naruto grumbled.

"She asked," Sai shrugged, closing his eyes.

I turned to Naruto.

"But, is he really from Tana?" I whispered.

"Don't worry, Haruna-chan. Sai doesn't remember anything. Kakashi-sensei here found him when he was just a few days old," Naruto said, propping himself in the chair next to me.

The silver-haired man took a few steps forward, and even though he was wearing a mask, I could tell he was smiling by the way his cheeks lifted from underneath the mask. He took a seat next to Sai and set down his book in his lap. I read the title on the front - Icha Icha Tactics - and I vaguely remembered Tsunade-sama having one or two copies on her desk. I remembered how I flipped through the pages once, when she wasn't around, and saw the signature of a man named Jiraiya. When I asked her about him, she didn't answer, and told me I didn't need to know.

I did my research, of course.

Jiraiya turned out to be an old friend of Tsunade-sama's, but he was also a writer. For erotic novels. I avoided the silver-haired man's eyes and settled into the back of my chair. I watched Sai shift in his seat, and even Naruto, who was always easygoing, tensed up when the masked man cleared his throat. I watched him closely and it was mainly because there was _no way_ that someone who read erotic novels was scary.

"You don't know who I am, but I sure as hell know who you are," he said, his tone flat.

The room was dead silent. There was a huff of breath from Sai and Naruto snapped his head to look at me, his expression horrified. I didn't move. I _couldn't_. I stared at the masked man who moved so swiftly, crossing and uncrossing his legs. He scratched at his temple lightly, but he didn't take his eyes off me. I blinked and fidgeted, looking for so many different ways to think of an answer, though I clearly wasn't given the opportunity to - even if Sai and Naruto didn't know anything, this man certainly did.

"I'm Kakashi," he said after a while, his tone softer.

"I know. Naruto mentioned you," I whispered.

"Wait, Kakashi-sensei, you know Haruna-chan?!" Naruto piped in.

"Why do you think I sent you on this mission?"

"You said she needed to be saved!"

The man named Kakashi sighed, clearly exasperated.

"Naruto, in the last ten years, when was the last time I saved someone I didn't know?"

The room fell silent again. Kakashi shifted forward where he sat, and his eyes weren't stone cold, like Sai's. He hummed and cupped his chin, clearly thinking of something to say. He had an aura of absolute authority, though it was not one that made a person shake in their boots. It was more that people would be intimidated by him at first, because of his lack of enthusiasm, and maybe because of the way he snapped - it wasn't lethal, but rather, it was more sarcastic. Which, for some reason, made people more afraid. There was an underlying kindness though, and I could see it written in the creases of his eyes - a sign that someone used to laugh a lot.

Used to.

"Haruna, come take a walk with me," Kakashi finally said, standing up.

I looked to Naruto for some sort of explanation, but he merely raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips, shrugging before he himself stood up. He nodded his head towards Sai, and before they left the room, Naruto turned to look at me, his expression worried. But he smiled his big grin that I couldn't help but mouthing a 'thank you' and watched him walk away. I pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear and turned to face Kakashi. I had no idea what to expect.

"You ready?" he asked.

I nodded and followed him down a hallway, the opposite direction of where Naruto was.

When Kakashi flipped the switch, the room before us became illuminated in warm lighting - the kind that existed in those expensive massage parlors Tsunade-sama always went to on the weekends. There were no desks or chairs. There was merely one large circular carpet placed in the middle of the room. The walls were painted mahogany and paintings hung upon them proudly, each one catching light from the sun through the window at the very back of the room. I turned to look at Kakashi, and surely enough, he was watching me.

"Go ahead. Look around."

Kakashi moved to a corner of the room where a bookshelf was located. He immersed himself in the contents of it, and taking that as my signal to move forward, I went straight for the paintings. Each one was a very well-done painting of each of the kings of Salji, before Tsunade-sama came into power. The colors were soft and all the shadows were tastefully done. None of them were smiling, but their eyes held the same determination. I moved along the wall and stopped when my eyes fell upon the painting of a blond woman, whose hair was not tied up. It cascaded down her shoulders and fell gracefully against her ribs.

She was the first one to be smiling - even if it was just a little.

"Captures her essence, doesn't it?" Kakashi chimed from across the room.

I nodded.

"It's all in the same style," I commented.

"Well, they are by the same person."

"Is that so. Whoever it is, they're amazing."

"You can tell him that directly later."

I whirled around to look at his face, but there was no smugness. He settled down the book he was holding, neatly pushing it back into the bookshelf. I waited for an explanation, but he scratched the back of his neck first. I cleared my throat.

"What do you mean?"

"Well," he said, "the artist is Sai."

My eyebrows shot up. For starters, I had no idea that Sai was even the _type_ to draw, much less paint. I stared at Kakashi in awe and he merely huffed out a breath of amusement. I looked towards the paintings again, but there was a more obvious question that I was wondering about.

"How did he paint these? He's my age, isn't he?"

"Photos. They kept record."

"And he just copied them?"

"Pretty much."

I turned around once more to the painting of Tsunade-sama, and I stared. I had missed her mischievous grin and the fire in her eyes. For being the first queen to not have a husband, Tsunade-sama was loved by everyone throughout Salji. People feared her when she was angry, but they knew she had a good heart. They accepted her as Queen for this very reason. I smiled at the photo and faced Kakashi, feeling much more relaxed.

"So Naruto told you about me," he stated simply.

"Yeah," I said, "but he also said there was a Kurama."

Kakashi snorted.

"Kurama isn't usually around. The whole time you're here, you'll probably only see him twice."

I frowned.

"How long do you think I have to stay here?"

Kakashi hesitated before he drew in a breath through his nose.

"A while."

"How long is a while?"

"Until the war ends."

I stood before him, silent. I wasn't sure if there was anything I _could_ say, because I was very well aware that the whole reason I was brought to this _ryokan_ in the first place was so that I could be protected. It was becoming obvious that there was more to this than Naruto or Kakashi - or even Sai - was letting on. I sighed and rubbed at my temples.

"You men make it so difficult."

"To do what?"

"Anything. You couldn't have just left me alone."

"We really couldn't."

I groaned.

"But," he breathed, "you're glad you met him, right?"

"Who, Sai?"

I knew exactly who he meant - but oddly enough, Kakashi seemed to be the type that could read anyone's eyes. Almost as though he had a gift for pulling information out of people, for intel. Perhaps that was his job before the war. He was staring at me and his eyes were filled with sarcasm in the way they drooped. It almost looked as though he was about to roll his eyes.

"Yeah," I sighed, "I am. But what do you do here?"

"I was Tsunade-sama's top advisor."

My eyes widened.

"_What_? I'd never heard of you!"

"That's because you were too busy training."

Realization dawned upon me. If Kakashi worked directly under Tsunade-sama, and knew that I was training under her, then certainly he knew other things about me. I watched him closely, and with every tiny movement he made, I could tell he was getting uncomfortable. Still, it was unreasonable to think that an explanation as minimal as that would ever be close to _enough_ - to get me to agree to anything, to get me to trust them. How did I know I wasn't actually being scammed?

"You don't have to hide anymore," he uttered, "Haruno Sakura."

I stared at him, and I could _only_ stare at him, because the whole idea that he knew who I was made the situation seem _incredulous._ If he knew who I was, why didn't he say something earlier? Why did he wait to pull me away from the other two, why did he wait to _talk_ to me to tell me that he knew my real name? My hand came up to push him - I felt violated, afraid, but most of all, somehow, I felt betrayed. If he knew me, he knew what happened to my parents. He knew how lonely I had been ever since Tsunade-sama was assassinated - he knew how _dangerous_ it was for me out there, and it still took him this long to find me.

What kind of advisor was he, if he couldn't even find the Queen's pupil?

"Who do you think you are?"

"Sakura, listen to me."

"_No_. You didn't even try to find me after she died. You _waited_. I was only a _teenager_, Kakashi. Isn't it part of your job to protect people like me? People like Naruto and Sai?"

"I know. I'm sorry."

"Why did it take you so long?"

Kakashi took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he answered.

"You changed your name and kept moving around."

I closed my eyes and sighed. Of course, I knew that it would be difficult to find me when I did that. I just didn't know it would be _that_ difficult - that Tsunade-sama's top advisor couldn't even find me. I bowed my head, feeling a little sheepish that I had gotten so angry. Kakashi seemed to understand, though. No one was calm during the war. If there was a way to prevent loss and grief, everyone would do it.

But there _was_ no way to prevent it. At least, not until the war itself ended.

"Do you remember Tsunade-sama showing you scrolls when you trained under her?"

"Yeah," I whispered, "they were scrolls that taught you healing methods."

"Good," he nodded, "well. There's more than she was willing to tell you about."

I cocked an eyebrow, but instead of explaining himself, Kakashi motioned for me to follow him into a corner of the room, where yet another bookshelf was located. I looked at him curiously, but he waited, his expression patient. I took just a few steps forward, and he began walking, his pace slow. He pulled out another bound book, and when I stood close enough to it, he handed it to me, his eyes distressed.

"Why are you giving it to me? You open it," I said.

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't?"

"Tsunade-sama put a seal on it."

My throat felt dry, but I nodded, immediately understanding Tsunade-sama's reasoning. She had a lot of enemies who would want her knowledge of healing, her knowledge of how to kill people discreetly. In this day and age, with people being boastful and brave, it was a _goldmine_ if you could kill someone in such a simple way - and using nature instead of gunpowder, too. I slowly opened the bound book, and found that it wasn't sealed. I looked at Kakashi, suspicious.

"I only assumed that you would be able to open it."

I flipped through the pages, reading the words and formulas, putting equations together into my head. I studied the herbs listed, the chakra points that needed to be used in order to execute various types of healing. Kakashi sat upon the floor and patted the space in front of him, and even though I felt slightly uneasy, I sat down as I processed the healing methods listing in the book. I frowned.

"Are there more of these books?"

"A bunch."

"Why?"

"It's only natural," he said, "you were her pupil."

"But these are all so…" I thought for a moment. "Dangerous."

"That's why she sealed them all into different books."

I flipped through a few more pages, my head filling with uneasiness and maybe even a little bit of fear. Who _knew_ that the power of healing could be this difficult, this lethal? I set the book on the floor and took a few deep breaths. Kakashi didn't rush me as I sorted my thoughts, my feelings. I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to know about Tsunade-sama and her assassination, but there was a part of me that knew there would be point to asking them. She was already gone. There was no use in trying to understand something when you couldn't do anything about it. I cleared my throat and looked up at Kakashi, and his eyes told me he was expecting what I was about to say:

"Why are you showing these to me?"

Kakashi leaned against the bookshelf behind him, closing his eyes. He took a few deep breaths, as though trying to calm himself. I watched him warily, because the only reason someone would take deep breaths the way he was, it could only mean something big. I braced myself and straightened my back when he opened his eyes to look at me.

"Sakura," he whispered, "you're next in line for the throne."


	9. pumping blood

**A/N:** I remember when I thought it was difficult to reach the 3k mark when writing my chapters. If you know the IB, I did that program and had no trouble writing 4k words for academic essays. It was hell. I cried. I wept. I broke down. Now I'm quite thankful I did that program because it generally means that I write a lot, which is always a good thing. I'd never do it again though, I'd never put myself through that much stress again. Reviews are very much appreciated!

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><p><strong>[きゅう ;; Pumping Blood]<strong>

_"there are two reasons people don't talk about things; either it doesn't mean anything to them, or it means everything"_

* * *

><p>The next day began with a hearty breakfast; marmalades and different types of bread were laid out across the long dining table. Orange juice, apple juice, grape juice - all <em>kinds<em> of juice, really - sat in jars with ice, and on the opposite side of the cold drinks were coffee and tea. I was reading one of the thicker books Kakashi had given me when Naruto dragged me out of the room, telling me breakfast is the most important meal of the day. The throbbing in my head had persisted throughout most of the night and I sat in the mini-library alone, trying to provide an understanding for myself.

Out of all the unexpected things that had happened to me, I had never even _dreamt_ that I would be next in line for the throne. Logically, it was an unlikely thing, considering the fact that I was not directly related to Tsunade-sama. Her other disciples hadn't been found despite the fact that it had been _years_ since she was assassinated. A hole in the shape of fear began chewing its way into my heart and I felt as though suddenly, it was expected of me to do things well.

I was afraid.

"You're gonna wanna eat a lot today," Naruto said as he took a seat beside me.

"Why's that?"

"Your training starts today."

"What training?"

"Kakashi showed you the books, right?" Sai said as he entered the room.

"Well," I stuttered, "yeah, but -"

"Then it starts today," Naruto said before biting into an _onigiri_.

Quietly, I chewed my porridge and reached for the cut up fruit, intending to fill myself up with energy. Naruto and Sai spoke to each other as though there wasn't a war going on just on the outskirts of Salji and I watched as a few unfamiliar faces entered the dining hall, their faces complacent. They watched me with hard eyes, eyes that were untrusting. I gulped as I swallowed down the water I held in my mouth and as though he was able to hear it, Naruto turned to me, his expression worried.

"You okay?"

"Yeah," I lied, "what kind of _training_ does Kakashi do?"

"Ah, don't worry," a man with brown hair and red markings on his face said, "Kakashi's training is just about keeping yourself grounded."

"Huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, it's totally spiritual. But it's hard." He looked at me properly and grinned. "I'm Kiba, by the way."

"Nice to meet you," I said quietly.

"So you're Haruna," Kiba said.

"So I am."

"Naruto talks a lot about you," the man said, the corners of his lips lifting as he looked at Naruto.

"Shut _up_ Kiba, or I'll kick your ass in another throwdown."

They bickered and threw around playful punches, eventually chasing each other to a corner of the room, chuckling the whole time. I watched in amazement, surprised that people could still _act_ like everything was fine. Supposedly this was easier for them, easier for people _like_ them. They were mercenaries, after all: they were usedto the idea of death surrounding them completely. Learning how to live with it was the only option when you had no other fate.

"Isn't there supposed to be someone else?" I asked Sai, whose expression seemed bored at watching two of his friends quarrel.

"Yeah," he replied, "but we don't know if he'll show up."

"Why not?"

"Kurama is really," he paused for a moment, pursing his lips, "_picky_ about who he trains."

"But why?"

Shrugging, the pale-skinned man stood up and picked up his plate. He walked over to me and raised an eyebrow as he lifted my plate.

"Oh no, that's -"

"It's okay," he said, "let people be nice to you for once."

Sai was surprisingly quick at running away - a characteristic I was shocked to see - and the other mercenaries, men and women alike, were trying to appear nonchalant, as though they weren't watching me. It made sense; I was someone who couldn't be founded for years because I kept changing locations. They _needed_ me, and even if there was the possibility that they didn't know about the books that Kakashi had shown me, they still knew I played an important role, somehow.

I prayed they didn't know who I really was.

"Hey, new girl," a black-haired man with a high ponytail called, "what's your name?"

"Haruna," I replied, "what's yours?"

"Shikamaru. Welcome to the crib."

"It's not a _crib_, Shikamaru," Kiba groaned as he took a seat across from me, Naruto sitting next to me. They were panting and still laughing and I knew there was a story that I was missing there. Things weren't always like that between them.

"We might as well call it that," Shikamaru said and shrugged, walking towards us.

"So," I said, "am I supposed to be afraid of Kakashi's training?"

"No," Shikamaru replied, "you're supposed to be afraid of Naruto's training."

"What?"

Clearing his throat, Naruto began to speak about the importance of physical prowess in the business of fighting for Salji and at the tone he held, I felt my bones quiver. I knew he was a _good_ mercenary, but I had no idea how lethal he really was. There was conviction in his eyes and an emotion that didn't suit him; it made him appear fearful, made him seem like someone you stayed away from because you could just _smell_ how dangerous they were.

"I won't be rough on you though, Haruna-chan," Naruto said.

"Please don't hold back," I replied, rolling my eyes.

"Are you sure about that?" he said, "I'm pretty rigorous."

"All the more reason not to hold back."

He raised his eyebrow in curiosity and his cheeky grin spread across his face, and it was contagious. I remembered another question I had when Sai reentered the room, his expression bored.

"Is Kurama's training difficult?" I asked.

Briefly, the room became silent and even Naruto's smile fell off his face. Out of all the people I was looking at, his expression seemed the most pained. I took a deep breath, ready to apologize, when Kakashi finally entered the room, still in his pajamas.

"Kurama's training is out of this world," he said as he grabbed a slice of bread, "you have to interest him for him to train you."

"Has anyone been trained by him?" I asked.

"Naruto's the only one," Kiba said, his voice quiet.

I turned my head towards the blond man, whose eyes had moved to the floor, avoiding any contact with me or anyone else. I watched him as Kakashi spoke to Shikamaru and asked a favor of Kiba. _Why would Naruto hide something like this?_ I thought. Surely, he had his own reasons for hiding things from other people, but hiding something that apparently seemed to be a big deal around here was a little unlike him.

He was never purposely secretive, unless he was trying to protect someone other than himself.

"You have to be willing to let yourself get hurt, if you want to train with Kurama," Naruto said.

"But that's not something you have to worry about right now," Kakashi said, his mouth filled with bread.

I looked from the book in front of me and then to my hands and I couldn't help but wonder if this was enough, if I, as a person, was enough to help tip the balance in our favor. These mercenaries that stood in the same room as me were former soldiers, and they had worked under Tsunade-sama's direct orders. They were _powerful_ compared to me, and yet, I was still a person they needed. My stomach churned at the thought that they hadn't sought anyone else - though of course, there _was_ no one else, apart from me.

Although his laugh boomed against the corners of the room, Naruto would glance at me every now and then, the expression on his face curious, afraid, or anxious. It was subtle and it was only written in his eyes for brief moments when he let his guard down. He was beginning to grow on me in a way that I wasn't sure I was prepared for. Even as I repeatedly told myself that he was simply fulfilling a duty, I couldn't shake the feeling that this was different, somehow.

He _knew_ me, somehow.

"Are you ready, Haruna?" Kakashi said, appearing next to me.

"I think so."

"Be on the field in five minutes," he said flatly. There was a hint of bluntness, of something I should fear, but instead, I felt nothing but vigor.

.

.

.

My lungs felt as though they were filled with fire and smoke, and the training hadn't even gone on for twenty minutes yet. I bent over and rested my hands on my knees as I panted, with Kakashi watching me from across the field, his eyes unimpressed. According to the other mercenaries, this was supposed to be the _easy_ part. Kakashi was supposed to be the _kinder_ one, and yet, I failed to find what was easy about this part of the training.

"Spiritual training, my ass," I muttered.

"Are you done taking a break?" Kakashi called out. "We can stop here, if you want, but you won't be as strong as you had hoped."

Although I couldn't see them, I knew Naruto and Sai were watching with the others. Perhaps they were watching from bleachers that were in my blind spot, or from behind trees - but I knew they were there, watching, assessing - _observing_.

"I'm not done yet," I said, raising my voice.

"I didn't think you were," Kakashi said, his voice smug. "Now stand up and _concentrate_."

For a term as loose as spiritual training, whatever it was that Kakashi was having me do did not _feel_ spiritual. I closed my eyes to help me focus, to help me hear my surroundings as opposed to just seeing them, to bask myself in whatever it was that i was supposed to see. The whistling wind danced through my ears and my hair as I felt my heart beat steadily. When I listened properly, the whistling turned to howling.

Fluttering my eyes open, my body froze when before me, a man with black hair appeared.

I didn't recognize him but for a reason I couldn't understand, I broke out in cold sweat, in fear. He didn't smile nor did he say anything, but his dark, mundane eyes, turned red the moment I blinked. He began taking a few steps forward and panic began to fill my veins, closing up my throat. With gleaming lips that spread into a slow smile, I knew I was in danger. I tried to move my feet, tried to run - but I stayed glued to the spot in the cold soil.

He chuckled, a dark sound, and in that instant, I remembered who he was.

"Stay away from me," I spat, my hands beginning to tremble.

"Why?" he said. "Your parents, your teacher… They're dead."

"I said _stay away_."

"All because you weren't there to save them."

Tears stung my eyes in anger and I blinked, trying to swallow the agony I had faced for years. The man still refused to let it go, though. He took a few more steps forward, his red eyes now gleaming with bloodlust.

"You're not worth anything," he said, enunciating every word.

"That's not true."

"You couldn't save them. You were weak," he said slowly, and if I looked closely enough, I could _almost_ see a hint of sympathy, a glimmer of human emotion, "you will always be weak. Yet, here you are, trying to forget me."

"I don't know what you want," I whispered, beginning to feel darkness envelop my heart.

"Give up," he said.

"_No_, I refuse to!"

"More people you love will be taken away from you."

Momentarily, I thought of Naruto, and while I didn't love him, I knew he was someone I wanted to protect. Someone I _needed_ to protect.

"No," I said, "you can't…"

"Face it. You're weak. You will lose absolutely everything."

My chest began to feel as though someone was sitting on it and before I could react, I was on the floor, facing the bright afternoon sky. I squinted as my eyes refocused, Kakashi, Naruto, and Sai hovering above me. I panted and I knew my brow was filled with sweat, even before Sai dabbed at it with a cloth. Kakashi hummed, his expression wary.

"Haruna-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, "Are you _okay_?!"

"Yeah," I whispered, "I think so."

Kakashi held out his hand and helped me up, a glint in his eyes that I wasn't sure how to read. I brushed off the dirt from my pants, sighing as I looked over at Naruto. Somehow, seeing his eyes served as comfort, but at the same time, I felt afraid. I wasn't sure of what, especially because Naruto was such a good mercenary, but when I thought back to the rogue mercenaries from Tana, I felt nauseous.

"You did well," Kakashi said coolly.

"I _did_?"

"She _did_?" Naruto and Sai asked in unison.

"The reason I'm the one that conducts this training," he explained, "is because I can see into the hearts of people and see what they fear most, what causes their weakness to come into display."

"You must be a formidable enemy, then," I said.

"Some say so," he shrugged.

"So… what was the outcome of that?"

"You didn't successfully get rid of your fears yet, but you're getting there."

"But you said I did well!"

"Most people don't find their darkest fear on the first day. A lot of the time, it's subconscious and it haunts them in their sleep," he said, "but you didn't suppress your fear."

"I wouldn't say that," I mumbled.

"I would. Be proud of yourself, it'll only get harder from here."

"Great," I groaned.

.

.

.

The soil was covered in snow by the time we all ate dinner and the heaters around the _ryokan_ were warm enough to bake cookies. I was browsing through the cabinets, looking for flour and sugar, when Kakashi came in, raising an eyebrow. I cleared my throat and smiled sweetly, but he wouldn't move.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Baking," I replied.

"Baking what?"

"Uh. Well, I wanted to bake cookies," I stuttered, "but I can't seem to find a proper tray."

"Right above your head," he chuckled.

I nodded and reached up, being sure not to fall over - since the cabinets above my head were so _tall_. I began cracking eggs and using the mixer. When Tsunade-sama was training me, I introduced her to sweets to snack on when she was sifting through piles of documents and felt a desire to drink. Eventually, she had given up on drinking, at least while I was around, and began to sink her teeth into soft chocolate chip cookies.

Smiling at the memory, I began to shape the cookies onto the tray.

"Hey," Naruto said suddenly.

"_Jesus_! I didn't even hear you come in," I said, sighing.

"Kakashi said you were makin' these things called… uh… mookies?"

"Close; _cookies_."

Nodding, Naruto moved closer to watch me shape the dough.

"What's in it?"

"Dough."

"And?"

"Chocolate chips."

He hummed and tapped his fingers against the counter, eyeing one of the trays that was already filled with round-shaped dough. He reached for it, his eyes shining with curiosity. I smiled.

"I take it you've never had any," I said.

"Nah, we don't get luxuries like this."

My hands froze momentarily as I reached into the big bowl again, reminding myself that not everybody was raised in a noble family - least of all, mercenaries like Naruto.

"Sorry, I -"

"Nah, don't feel bad!" he said cheerily. "It's never too late to try anything!"

"Well," I said, "I already preheated the oven so just put that first batch in there."

"How many batches are you making?"

"Don't know, just need enough for everyone in here."

Despite large, clumsy hands, Naruto was somewhat delicate in handling tasks that I assigned to him. He eyed the cookies I kept working on and I knew he was also watching the bowl of cookie dough, and because I had a weakness for people that didn't have luxurious snacks growing up, I gave in. He was sitting behind one of the counters watching me when I brought the bowl over to him, smiling widely. He blinked, unsure of what to make of the bowl in front of him. He eyed it with wide eyes and stuck a finger inside before sucking it clean, his face lighting up. I laughed when he asked for more but I didn't say no, since there were probably too many cookies at that point. I sat across from him and he pushed the bowl towards me, raising his eyebrows. Without a word, I joined him and basked in the taste of cookie dough.

"Who taught you to make these?" he asked.

"No one. I used to like baking."

"Why'd you stop?"

I avoided his gaze as I shoved my finger into my mouth, prolonging the process of tasting the uncooked batter in case he pushed. Of course, he merely had to make proper eye contact with me for all pent up and repressed memories to come surfacing, but I tried to resist. I didn't want to answer and it was because of the fact that I didn't want him to know me too much, to understand me too much.

He didn't even know my real name.

I thought back to Kakashi's training and remembered the black-haired man with the red eyes and felt goosebumps bruise the skin of my arms and neck. I clucked my tongue thoughtfully and Naruto chewed patiently, his eyes content.

"Do you really wanna know?" I asked.

"More than anything."

I sighed. "My parents were the biggest fans of my baking. When they were murdered, I didn't see a point," the lines of Naruto's face fell with understanding and he moved his eyes towards his hands resting on the marbled counter. "but then, Tsunade-sama started seeing me more and I felt a little better."

"And that changed, too."

"Yeah," I said flatly.

It was silent for a few minutes and it was enough time for me to pull out the last batch of cookies and let them cool on the counter and to wash some of the dishes. Naruto didn't utter a word, but I knew he was watching. I didn't know what he was looking for, but perhaps he was watching me out of curiosity.

"So," he said finally, "how did you find today's training?"

"You guys are all such liars," I laughed, "Kakashi is so _difficult_."

Naruto laughed, a sound that boomed through his whole body and reached his eyes.

"Once you're past his training and move onto mine, you'll wish you stayed with Kakashi."

"So you're rougher?"

"_Much_ rougher, but I have no choice there."

I hummed as I took a seat before him, resting my chin in my palm. He gulped and tried to give an easy smile, but I was searching his eyes, the lines of his face, for an inkling of more information about him. He was an open book, although not really, because while I knew what his personality was like, I didn't know many personal things about him. It bothered me obviously, but I knew that he would never pry things out of me. I sighed.

"He did the fear training, right?" Naruto whispered, his breath brushing against my nose. I didn't realize he was so close.

"Yeah," I replied, "I wasn't sure what to expect."

"What did you see?"

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow.

"It's just that most people see an event that was traumatizing for them," he explained, "including myself."

Frowning, I tilted my head at him. He poked my arm a few times, his expression mostly amused, but there was a storm in his eyes that wouldn't disappear no matter how much he smiled.

"No," I said, "I saw a person."

"A person?"

"Yeah, he was the person who murdered my parents and Tsunade-sama."

"Oh."

"It's not exactly an event, but it ties to the two events that changed everything for the whole of Salji."

A sad silence filled the room as Naruto twiddled his thumbs, his brow scrunched as he was in deep thought. Seizing the opportunity, I grabbed two glasses of water and handed one to him, taking a sip from my own cup. I didn't particularly like discussing my parents' death, or even Tsunade-sama's, but after spending so much time with Naruto, I found I was growing more comfortable with him and I felt safer, somehow. He looked up at me a few times and opened his mouth, but seemed to think better of it. It went on for ten minutes before he finally voiced his thoughts.

"What did the person look like?"

"He was pale," I started, "had black hair, and in the beginning I swear his eyes were black."

"But?"

"But when I blinked, they were red."

Although it was subtle, Naruto's eyes widened just the slightest before he quickly scrambled to appear puzzled. I wanted to question it, but I assumed that he sensed it, because suddenly he was standing up and about to leave the room.

"Do you think that person is still alive?" he asked.

"I don't know," I replied, thinking back to what he had told me about losing someone else important to me.

"If he is, what would you do?"

"I don't know, Naruto," I whispered, "I'm not strong enough for that yet."

As though conflicted, Naruto scrunched his brow and sighed before his bright smile returned to his face, as though whatever was making him irritated had disappeared. I felt a frown pull my lips.

"You can do anything, Haruna-chan," he said, "and if that means killing this guy -"

"What?" I exclaimed, "I don't _want_ to kill him!"

"But if you had to."

"I would find some other way," I said, surprised that Naruto's eyes were suddenly gleaming with a similar light the man earlier had. My blood turned cold as I tried hard to not let it show on my face and Naruto's face softened, his eyes calmer.

"Okay," he said, "but you can still get through this."

"I wonder."

"You will. We'll be here with you."

He allowed his feet to linger on the floor before he leaned in and the scent of him filled my nose, making me feel a little dizzy. He smelled like warmth, like sunflowers and summer that Salji hardly got to see. He wrapped one arm around my waist and pulled me in, pressing my nose and lips into his neck and I froze. Leaning his forehead on my shoulder, he held me tighter and I felt as though my heart stopped. Slowly, I lifted my arms and wrapped them around him and I was worried he could hear my heart thundering in my chest.

"You'll be amazing," he whispered, "I know it."

"Thank you," I uttered, not sure what else to say.

Naruto left the room after giving me one more smile of encouragement, and although it was meant to give me more hope and motivation, all I could manage to feel was blood-cold fear. While I knew this wouldn't be easy, I also had no idea it would be this difficult. For now, I swallowed my doubts and made sure they didn't try to haunt me. I thought of the people I wanted to protect - people like Ino who had no family from the start, people like Sai who were probably shunned because of their origin, people like Kakashi who saw no point in life other than to become strong enough to fight your demons, but most importantly - I wanted to protect people like Naruto, who had an unspeakable past that they couldn't run away from, no matter how hard they tried.


	10. inconsolable

**A/N:** This was the chapter that I last updated before my spring / summer semester started for 2015. I think I came a somewhat far way to get to this point in terms of my writing, and in terms of my storytelling. I'm proud of what I've done so far and I couldn't have done it without those of you who stuck with me this far. There's more to come, I promise, and I hope that by the end, this will be a story that sticks with you.

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><p><strong>[じゅう ;; Inconsolable]<strong>

_"the truth is, i pretend to be a cynic, but i am really a dreamer who is terrified of wanting something she may never get"_

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><p>The sun still hadn't risen when I was sifting through documents stored in the chambers of the <em>ryokan<em>, looking for the exact moment when Tana and Salji entered a state of war. Countless events were recorded, such as the crowning of the first kings of Tana and Salji, the first alliance, and the first war. There wasn't much detail no matter how hard I looked, no matter how many paragraphs I read. The flashlight I held to read the text began to bug me somehow, because I couldn't find what I was looking for. Tsunade-sama had always said that the history of Salji and Tana was a dark one, and it was one that people shouldn't know about until they were called to the throne.

Clearly, I was doing the right thing.

I thought back to my life when Tsunade-sama was still alive and ruling the kingdom prosperously, using her resources to make sure her people always received the best. Her hands always held a glass of _sake_, or she used them to wave off her other subordinate Shizune, to leave her alone. It was a known fact among those close to her that she hated going through paperwork, signing countless forms that required her to read the whole contract. She hated wasting time.

Still, she signed them and was able to find extra time to train me in healing. She was never a gentle teacher, but she made up for that by encouraging me even when I was ready to give up. Without realizing it back then, Tsunade-sama was protecting me from enemies by teaching me how to fight to protect my own life. At that point, Tana was furious with Salji for whatever initial reason there was, and Tsunade-sama had no choice but to protect her people.

To her, I was in the most danger merely because of the hierarchy.

She never allowed me to leave the palace, telling me that it was dangerous outside and I had work to do inside anyway. Dropping stacks after stacks of papers onto me, she demanded I read through them and tell her what they are about before she signed them. There were private rooms that I didn't know existed before, where she would continue to train me, telling me I needed to focus on my inner energy to reach her level. She wasn't crueller, but her eyes were more determined, and yet at the same time, more afraid. If there was anything she was afraid of, it was of people dying at her hand.

The lights to the chamber flicked on and when I looked up sheepishly, Sai was standing in the doorway. He raised an eyebrow and shrugged, holding out his hand. His mouth stayed shut as I quietly placed the documents where they belonged. His palm clamped firmly around mine as he lifted me up, his expression unreadable. Nonetheless, it was uncomfortable when he stared at me because he was used to watching people - but I wasn't used to being watched, despite being someone whose every move was observed and recorded just a few years ago.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" he asked when we reached the dining hall.

"Not really."

"You went through countless documents."

"None of them had details that I wanted."

Sai hummed. "Did you find anything on the twelfth of June?"

My curiosity peaked at his question, but I cautiously shook my head. He hummed again and his expression was thoughtful as he tapped a finger against his lips.

"I don't know much about it," he said, "but the chambers upstairs has more records."

"I don't have a key to go in, though."

"None of us do," he said as-a-matter-of-factly, "but you can ask Kakashi. You have reason to."

"Can you tell me the gist of it?"

We stood in the living room where I first met him and he motioned for me to sit down. He took a sip of water that sat on the coffee table before us and his mouth was set in a straight line. Although I wasn't accustomed to silence, Sai's lack of sociability at times was something that was beginning to grow on me.

"Basically," he said, "Tana tried to kick people out of Salji."

"What do you mean?"

"People who had already been living here for centuries were being threatened," he said calmly, "and it was so consistent and persistent that it caused a riot. Two thousand people died on our end."

"That's awful," I whispered.

"It's one of the most significant events in understanding the political relationship between the two kingdoms."

"So why don't we have any records of it in the main chambers?"

Sai shrugged. "Maybe they're hidden somewhere else."

I chewed on my bottom lip, the anxiety building up in my brow. It was bad enough that I had no idea that I was to inherit the throne in the first place, but the fact that there was history I couldn't easily access made the whole situation seem much more questionable. The war that had plagued our kingdom seemed that much more pointless and I couldn't even get my hands on the documents that could help me understand.

"Why is it," I said slowly, "that you don't know? You're originally from Tana, aren't you?"

His usually calm eyes hardened by a fraction, making it seem as though there was a low fire simmering his soul.

"My role as a mercenary isn't to know the details," he said, "but it is to fight without questioning whoever leads me." He ran his fingers through his hair and let out a heavy breath before he spoke again, his tone softer. "I may have been born and raised in Tana, but my loyalty belongs here."

As though refusing to accept any further questions, Sai gave me a soft smile and left me alone in the waiting area to ponder a life I didn't even know would belong to me. Kakashi might have felt relief that he finally found the person who was supposedly the one to fix everything and put an end to suffering and strife, but I knew myself. While I was excellent at healing people, I also feared getting others into trouble. It was ironic, really.

There was also the matter that Kakashi's training had merely brought forth a fear that I had buried deep into my heart in the hopes that I wouldn't have to face it yet again. I didn't want to see more people get hurt because of me, and once more be unable to do anything about it but watch.

"Haruna-chan?"

Poking his head out of the dining hall, Naruto's wide blue eyes were worried. He took a few steps closer, his body somewhat tensed.

"You seem stressed," he said, "do you want some orange juice?"

"No," I replied while smiling, "I think I'm just going to take a bath and then train with Kakashi some more."

"I'm afraid that's not necessary today," Kakashi's voice came booming from the dwindling hallway.

"I beg your pardon?" I said.

Scratching his head, Kakashi yawned and sat on the sofa across from me, watching Naruto and I through half-closed lids. He pulled out what looked like a small calendar and flipped through a few pages. From where I sat though, nothing seemed to be written in it. He hummed and tapped his chin lightly and huffed out a breath of air before leaning forward. I raised an eyebrow.

"We're running out of groceries," he said flatly.

Accidentally, I let out a small snort that was meant to be a chuckle. For some reason, Kakashi saying those words was amusing, and maybe it was because he didn't appear to be the type that _cared_ about things like this. Of course, considering the fact that he was watching over many young mercenaries at this _ryokan_, he had developed a nature that most likely hadn't suited him in the beginning. I looked away when he cocked an eyebrow at me.

"I need you two to go get some on the other side of the country."

"Isn't that far?

"Nonsense," he replied, "we're in the center of Salji. Everything is accessible from here."

"Are we taking Kaminari?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"She could use a good run," Kakashi said thoughtfully, "I guess you can take her."

"Who's Kaminari?" I asked.

As though on cue, Kakashi stood and walked towards the dining hall, quickly throwing the names of food we needed over his shoulder before disappearing behind the swiveling door. I glanced at Naruto whose smile was amused as he grabbed a small bag and slung it over his shoulder.

"Kaminari," he said, "is the friendliest horse we have."

"_Horse_?!" I shrieked.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't seen horses in forever," I admitted sheepishly.

With his smile that resembled the sun, he patted my shoulder gently and motioned towards a door I hadn't gone through before. I heard the neighing before I saw the horses in their stables, and when we stopped walking in front of a white stallion, I froze, my eyes widening in amazement.

"She's beautiful," I breathed.

"You can touch her."

Slowly, I held out my hand for her to sniff and get accustomed to. I felt her hot breath on my palm and I waited as she looked at me, almost as though she _knew_ what was going on - and perhaps she did. She pressed her muzzle against my hand and I petted her, smiling. From the corner of my eye, I could see Naruto's grin turn as soft as my heart.

"Friendly, right?" he said.

"Yeah," I said, "very affectionate."

When the saddle was placed along Kaminari's back, Naruto leaned in and pressed his forehead to hers, closing his eyes. I watched silently as he stroked her muzzle then her forehead, and the animal swung her tail impatiently, as though her feet against the grass and soil was something she constantly yearned for. I understood somehow, the desire to be free.

After he threw his leg over, Naruto held out his hand and patiently waited for me to grab hold of it. I looked at him warily and it was mostly because I didn't want to hurt Kaminari. Even the idea of being that close to Naruto was a little nerve-wracking and I wasn't sure how to approach it, since the saddle would force my front to be pressed against his back, unless I leaned away from him.

"She's a horse, Haruna-chan," he laughed, "she won't be hurt."

"Ah," I replied nervously, "of course."

Hooking my foot in the stirrup and swinging my leg over to the other side, I placed my hands gently on Naruto's shoulders. The nape of his neck emitted his natural musky scent and I tried not to sigh, tried not to give anything away. He turned his head to look at me and I felt my heart leap - surely, he couldn't have known what I was thinking!

"Haruna-chan," he said, his voice amused.

"Huh? What?"

"You'll fall right off if you hold onto me like that."

"I'm sure I won't," I said flatly.

Because Naruto is a stubborn person, he patted his ribs cheekily and grinned as I rolled my eyes. Slowly, I reached around him and scooted closer, wrapping my arms around his waist. The proximity caused my mouth to be right near the shell of his ear, and for a moment, he stopped grinning. He froze in place and cleared his throat before he bade Kaminari to start running. Although he spoke no words as we ran through the forest, the silence didn't bother me.

I only worried that he could feel how erratically my heart was beating.

.

.

.

In what can only be called the outskirts of Salji, there were people with dark hair but pale skin, their dark eyes filled with a softness I had never seen anyone wear. Their hands grazed against baskets and bags filled with food that would last them for another few months, if the war did not get any worse. I vaguely thought that perhaps Kakashi was working in accordance with someone who made sure _this_ part of the country was safe, too.

I had never seen children that were as carefree as these; their laughter danced through the frigid air as they ran around their mothers and fathers. When Kaminari halted and Naruto slid off her saddle, he held out his hand. I gripped it as he helped me safely plant my feet on the pavement which, surprisingly, was not covered with snow. I looked to him and he merely grinned before he motioned for me to follow him, after he petted the stallion's muzzle.

"This is so different," I said.

"Well," he replied, "you've never been to this part of the country."

"Forgive me but," I rolled my eyes, "I thought Tana took everything from us."

"They did."

When Naruto walked towards the crowd of people, I quickly followed behind him, grabbing onto the back of his coat. No one was pushy and a few even smiled at me as though reassuring me they were harmless. My forehead came into contact with Naruto's back when he abruptly stopped.

"They couldn't take away these people's hope though," he said finally.

"What made them hope?" I asked as I stood beside him, my eyes widening at the sight.

"Every year," he whispered, "this part of Salji has spring."

"Spring?"

"The season after winter. We hardly have it where we are, but them…" Naruto's eyes softened as he watched a young girl kiss the hand of her mother before she ducked back into a small shop. "For them, if spring came, so would peace."

I felt my shoulder slump at the thought; it was incredibly hopeful and at the same time it was taxing. Although it was a small district with barely any moving room, people still didn't bump shoulders or arms and when they did, they would smile at each other and bow slightly before continuing along their way.

"Kakashi likes this one stall," Naruto said, "but that's only because the young clerk is a long-lost relative."

"At least he's helping her out," I replied.

"True," he pondered, "but on days our _ryokan_ needs groceries, she makes the most sales, which makes her popular."

"What happens then?"

Naruto's eyes hardened and he let out a small smile before he turned to me and winked. I raised an eyebrow but he waved a hand towards a stall that sold fruit and vegetables, with a small corner for children's candy. I smiled at the consideration this young woman apparently had for those who went in and out of her stall.

"Welcome!" said a woman with black hair that was pushed into a bun.

"Kana-nee, it's good to see you again!" Naruto exclaimed, making me smile. He truly was a ball of energy that couldn't be stopped.

"You're being loud," I said quietly.

"It's okay - Kana-nee knows I am." He grinned and took a step forward before his face grew serious, his brow scrunched together. "Anyone been bothering you today?"

"Not at all, thanks to you," Kana laughed.

Naruto, with all his rowdiness, gently held out both his hands in front of the woman, whose eyes were even kinder than the people I saw outside. She pushed a lock of stray hair behind her ear and met Naruto's hands, as though they were puzzle pieces. Leaning down, Naruto pressed his nose against their hands and when they broke apart, they placed both their palms against their hearts. It was brief but I couldn't help staring at her.

Turning her head towards me, Kana smiled softly and patted me lightly on the head before resting her hand on my shoulder. Her smile was small but when it was combined with her bright, kind eyes, I felt my mouth drop. When she moved just the slightest bit, I could see the hair from her messy bun swish and sway. She was thin but her arms and hands had a strength to them that I could only assume came with being a stall clerk. I smiled back at her, feeling somewhat breathtaken.

"You must be Haruna," she said softly.

"Oh. I -"

"No need to explain," she laughed, "Kakashi-niichan told me everything."

"Kakashi-niichan?" Naruto and I exclaimed, almost laughing at how the silver-haired man didn't seem like a 'nii-chan' figure at all.

"Yes," Kana smiled, "out of respect, you know?" then, "So are you two here to cater to his grocery shopping?"

"You know it," Naruto chuckled, "people here know who he is, anyway."

"True, and that would be dangerous." Kana reached behind a counter and pulled out a small notepad, flipping through a few pages before she found what she was looking for. Without looking, she tossed it towards Naruto and motioned towards the back. "In the freezer."

"Let's go, Haruna-chan -"

"Not so fast," Kana said, "she stays here. She's new."

"That's not fair," Naruto rolled eyes eyes.

"You know how it is."

After making a disgruntled noise, Naruto sauntered towards the back of the stall, the sight of his shoulders in a small shop somewhat amusing. He moved carefully and when he was about to bump into a cabinet full of jars, his face would contort into a silent scream before he'd start moving again. I smiled.

"So," Kana said.

"Wait," I stuttered, feeling rude, "what was that thing Naruto and you did?"

"Oh, that greeting?"

"Yeah," I replied, feeling sheepish that apparently I didn't know something that seemed pretty basic here.

"In this part of Salji," she started, "when we greet people we generally know or respect, we call it _salam_."

"_Salam_?"

"To give _salam_."

I stared at her, not sure what to ask. She smiled when I fidgeted with my fingers, knowing fully well that I didn't want to say anything that might come off as rude. Supposedly, she was popular - which meant she had many different types of people.

"How come the other part of the country doesn't do it?" I asked quietly.

She frowned, her whole demeanor suddenly an emotion I wasn't sure I had ever seen before. "The people out west were influenced by Tana heavily, and that caused them to forget certain things."

"Things as common as a greeting?"

"You'd be surprised at how much more they've forgotten," she sighed, "like kindness."

I was silent as she sifted through a drawer and pulled out a brown paper bag. She handed it to me with that gentle smile on her face. When I refused to take it, she continued to hold it out and even shook the bag a little, as though saying _don't turn down a gift_. Hesitantly, I opened it and took a peek inside, but I was only confused when what I saw was dry green leaves.

Especially during winter.

"What are these?" I asked.

"Magical leaves."

"_Magical_ leaves?"

She laughed, a sound that rang in my ears. "Well, not magical. But there are incantations that have been cited into them."

"For what?"

"Whatever it is that you are looking for in order to feel more at peace with yourself."

I couldn't take my eyes off Kana, even when she began moving around her stall in order to straighten out nearby cabinets. Did she know something? If she was related to Kakashi, surely he must have told her _something_ about my training. Or at least something about me - or rather, Haruno Sakura. I watched her cautiously and when I caught her eye, she frowned again.

"There are no spells on those leaves, Haruna," she whispered, "but if it helps, it will give you strength for whatever predicament you are finding yourself in right now."

"How would you know if I am in one?"

She smiled once again, but this time, it did not touch her eyes.

"It's war," she whispered, "we're all fighting some sort of battle, even if we're not being killed on the front lines for it."

I set the paper bag down onto the counter, to which she raised an eyebrow, but I smiled warmly. Clearly, Kana didn't know who I _really_ was, and the fact that half of the country was living like this was creating a sense of warmth in my heart. It was hopeful and although it was completely different from the west of Salji, but it had a basis that was more than surviving - it had more to do with living with peace or even just a smidge of happiness.

"Um," I said sheepishly, "about that _salam_ thing -"

"Do you want me to teach you?" Kana said, her tone amused.

I nodded hesitantly and watched as Kana moved around her stall to come closer to me. When she stood right before me, she reached for my hair and pushed a lock behind my ear, stroking the side of my cheek so very gently. Clearing her throat, Kana gently reminded me to hold out my hands, keeping them spaced apart. She fit her hands between mine and smiled.

"What now?" I asked.

"Since I'm older," she replied, "you bow your head and touch your forehead to where your thumbs are."

"That sounds confusing."

"Try it," she smiled, "just lightly touch your forehead - or your nose - to where your thumbs are."

Her hands smelled of lavender and simultaneously, like mint. When I met her eyes, she smiled again.

"Now," she said, "put both your hands to your heart."

"Why do you put your hands to your heart?"

"To cleanse ill feelings in your heart."

My eyes widened at her answer - I had never known something so _simple_ and yet so beautiful. She leaned in and kissed either of my cheeks when Naruto reappeared, holding a whole bag filled with the food we needed. He glanced at me and his eyebrows shot up slightly with curiosity, but before he could say anything, Kana quickly walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. Her gentle demeanor completely changed and she seemed much more playful - especially with that grin of hers.

"Got everything?" she asked.

"Yep," Naruto replied enthusiastically, "don't think we need any more."

"Well, take a walk around the market."

"Why?"

She tapped him lightly on the head. "Show Haruna around."

Shifting his gaze to me, I waved my hand in an attempt to dismiss the idea - that we could go back to the _ryokan_ if he really wanted to. He grinned and grabbed my hand, forcing me to stop waving it around.

"I'll get Kaminari," he said, "wait here."

I looked towards Kana with an incredulous expression my face.

"Why did you do that?" I asked.

"Haruna," she replied, "I can tell you haven't seen a lot of things." She reached for her messy bun and let her hair fall past her shoulders and all the way down to her ribs, her black waves framing her beautifully. I felt somewhat mesmerized. "Let him _show_ you his world."

"His world…?" I whispered.

"Trust me," she said, "there's a lot to it."

As though on cue, I heard Kaminari neighing outside. I smiled at Kana and waved her goodbye, but she grabbed my hands and held them softly in hers. I made a noise that sounded like a question and she laughed.

"One more thing," she said, "before you leave someone, you have to _salam_ them again."

Naruto held out his hand once more and I took it as I easily slid my leg over Kaminari's saddle. Slowly, I wrapped my arms around Naruto's waist and we bade goodbye to Kana, who waved at us as we rode off. Naruto steered Kaminari in a different direction than where we came, to a more secluded path that was closer to a river. He didn't speak much at first, and even though I couldn't see his face properly, I could see his profile.

His eyes were bright as always, but it was touched with a tinge of softness.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"The sea."

"_What_?"

"Relax," he chuckled, "it's completely safe. There's a cliff there we can sit on."

I wasn't sure how to respond to what seemed to be a spontaneous happening, and so, I watched the view around us instead. Flowers were blooming despite the cold air and my hair whipped about my face. I grunted as I used one hand to push some of it back, to which Naruto laughed. I playfully punched his arm and I couldn't help but smile, too. Surely, as Kana had said, there were layers upon layers of Naruto's world that I had yet to see. In the beginning, I was merely curious - I simply hated the idea of secrets.

This time, I wanted to scrape away the walls myself.


	11. call the shots

**A/N:** So I've been in Malaysia for the last six weeks or so, asking myself every single day why I agreed to go back to Malaysia in the first place. Like, who **does** that? I wanted to write this chapter - you can ask anyone who I was talking to while I was cooped up in my room with food and my laptop - but I just couldn't bring myself to. I think I wrote the bulk of it by the time I got back to Tokyo. I'm back now, of course, and the semester is starting in nine days _**HAHAHAHAHHA**_ I'm so sorry that you all have to put up with me. I don't know if this is the last chapter for **another** four months but maybe I'll try to update again before the semester starts because I feel bad that this story is basically a hiatus story? Also, I hate how when you publish something here, you can only make four characters really relevant. Like, what? I love you all, and reviews are always welcome!

* * *

><p><strong>[十一 ;; Call the Shots]<strong>

_"some hearts understand each other, even in silence"_

* * *

><p>"Absolutely-fucking-not."<p>

"It's only a little!"

"It looks_ good_ as it is."

"It gets in your face when the wind blows, don't try to lie to me."

Kiba scrunched his nose and tried to lean away from me, one hand grabbing at his hair and the other keeping me at a distance. I held the scissors in my hand and tried to work my way around him but he still wouldn't budge. Despite there being other girls around the _ryokan_, none of them bothered to give the guys haircuts, and the guys, of course, didn't really care about what their hair looked like. They passed it off as another thing they didn't need to worry about because of the war, but the war was the specific reason that that their hair irked me so much. With it always whipping in their faces, how much chance would there be of it getting in their eyes and annoying them in the middle of a battle? Obviously, we couldn't take those kinds of risks. I had already trimmed Shikamaru's hair, despite the fact that he always kept it tied up. There were three people left - two of whom were incredibly stubborn.

"Haruna-chan," Naruto said, "is this just another one of those things you did back at the shelter?"

"No, because the girls at the shelter could tie their hair up during work."

"Why force this on us?" Kiba said, removing his hand from his hair.

"Because girls like guys who have shorter hair."

"That's not true," Sai chimed in, "Shikamaru-san has somewhat long hair, and Temari still likes him."

"That's different," I retorted as I pulled Kiba by the arm to sit in front of me.

"How so?" Naruto asked.

"They're _dating_. If she wanted his appearances to change so he could look more presentable, she would say so."

"Why though?" the blond asked curiously.

"That's just how some relationships work."

It was silent and I thought that I had finally gotten them to shut up, but when I looked up for the briefest moments, Naruto was staring at me. He attempted to scrunch his brow, but the corner of his lips kept twitching - almost like he was trying not to laugh. I snipped off a piece of Kiba's hair and evened it out with my fingers before he finally spoke up, his voice surprisingly unwavering.

"Would you tell me to change, Haruna-chan?"

I felt my eyes start to roll back in their sockets, but Kiba answered quicker than I could come up with a response.

"She wouldn't date you in the first place, dumbass."

"What do _you_ know, dog breath?"

"Haruna's taste is for classy men!" Kiba said benevolently.

"That's true," Sai agreed humbly. "she's more suited for men older than her."

"So like Kakashi?" Naruto mused.

"_Repulsive_," I snapped, but laughter immediately fell out our mouths at the thought of Kakashi being romantically involved with someone my age.

As though the universe had planned to make him walk into the room at that particular moment, Kakashi popped his head into the doorway, his eyes curious. The atmosphere of the room had completely changed, what with Naruto and Sai's expressions showing their high level of discomfort. Kiba, on the other hand, was bowing his head a little to keep from his laughter rumbling through him. As though it was a natural occurrence, Kakashi planted himself beside Naruto and placed his arm on the guy's shoulder, smirking.

"So," Kakashi said coolly.

"So," Naruto replied.

"Don't think I didn't hear that, guys," Kakashi chuckled.

"I _knew_ it!" Kiba said, guffawing. Thankfully, I had pulled the scissors away from the hairs near the nape of his neck.

The men spoke amongst themselves while I finished up Kiba's hair and moved onto Sai's. They spoke of war strategies, of combating techniques, of vital points in the human body where chakra would be most abundant. It was almost like I was staying with soldiers in their barracks, but they didn't feel like soldiers. They weren't mindlessly fighting just to pass time - every single mercenary in this shelter had a reason for being here. Although some of their personalities were more bubbly than I figured, the women who lived here had some of the most painful motivations to keep on fighting. I listened to them as they stood beside me peeling potatoes and cutting up onions, or while we looked at enemy intel, and the one thing I could deduce about them was this:

If they have ever loved anything, they wanted to keep fighting for that freedom.

Of course, that was only a natural human response.

Naruto's reason for being in this _ryokan_ was still somewhat cloudy to me, but even just by looking at him, I knew that he had been through pain. Whether it was more than mine or less than mine was irrelevant, but another thing was clear to me about him: he was not looking for revenge. He was not seeking satisfaction through killing his enemy, but rather, he saw this as protecting something that was important to this kingdom, Salji. Sai and the others had given me incredibly vague details involving Naruto's life story. He had grown up mostly without the company of his parents, although he spent a little bit of time with his mother. I found there to be a pattern with people who had lost everything. Most who hear stories of orphans say that these people become misguided and lost, unable to return from a sea of loneliness as they mourn the souls of those who raised them. That part was only true if they didn't _allow _themselves to weep in anger and loss in the first place.

I wondered if Naruto had felt a similar loss. I pondered on the look in his eyes he had most of the time - full of life and energy, with lols at times he saw sadness in others, or saw suffering in the hands of people he met in town. It was unsettling to not know what his reason for being a mercenary was. Was he forced into it, or did he actively decide to stay by Tsunade-sama's side?

"My turn, Haruna-chan!"

"Don't move around so much," I said as Naruto took a seat with his back facing me.

"After you're done cutting his hair," Kakashi said, "come onto the field. You have more training."

"What kind of training?" I asked.

"You already know your biggest fear, right?" Kakashi picked up the pair of scissors I was using and examined the blade, his expression aloof. After a few seconds, he set them down again and leaned against the door frame a few steps away from us, his eyes hardening. "You're going to use that fear to save yourself."

"What do you mean?" I breathed.

"You'll see," he replied simply, "but don't waver."

Without giving me more time to ask questions, Kakashi disappeared down the hallways and headed towards the training ground on the open field. I let out a small sigh as I measured Naruto's hair with my fingers, cutting off the parts I felt were unnecessary. He was silent and unmoving and the room was filled merely with the sounds of our breathing and the metal scissors snipping away, but when I tugged the hairs at the nape of his neck a little too hard, Naruto yelped.

"Oops," I said, "sorry, didn't mean to do that."

He merely placed a hand at the spot, rubbing and massaging it before removing his hand again. I ran my fingers through his hair slowly, and as though a reflex, his head lulled into my hands. His eyes were closed but the corners of his lips were tilted upwards, almost as though he was smiling. I moved so that his head leaned against my collarbone and I quickly evened out his hair in the front, cutting it to a length that was manageable but still somewhat _decent_-looking. He hummed when I massaged the temples of his head and I knew that that was my cue to move away.

"All done," I said cheerfully.

"Aw, already?"

"You had the same amount of time as the rest."

"It still wasn't enough."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Next time, when your hair grows out, I'm telling Temari to do it."

"What, _no_! She's too rough, Haruna-chan!" Naruto exclaimed, his expression apprehensive.

"Maybe it'll do you good," I said as I wiped my hands on my pants.

I turned towards the door to head onto the field but Naruto stood in the doorway, his expression soft. I raised my eyebrows and tried to get through him, but he moved just the slightest bit, denying me access to the hallway. I looked up at him expecting an answer of sorts, but he didn't take his eyes off me. I lay a hand on my hip, feeling annoyed at him.

"If you're not happy with the haircut, just say so -"

"I'm very happy with the haircut…"

"So what's the -"

"...because you did it."

Perhaps his answer was so _unusual_ for him, because my immediate reaction to his words was to start laughing. I laid a hand on the wall beside me and laughed, my stomach burning from the onset of shallow breathing. I looked up at Naruto again and even he was laughing, his shoulders rising and falling and tears filling his eyes.

"That was a good one," I said finally, wiping at my eyes.

"Really though," he chuckled, "thanks."

"It's the least I can do."

"Want me to come watch you train?" he asked suddenly, after I left the room.

"Sure, if you want."

"It's fun watching you train, y'know?"

"Why's that?"

He pondered for a moment, running his fingers through his new hair, genuinely seeming to think of an answer that was acceptable. He stepped out into the hall and walked past me, waving a hand to signal me to follow him. We walked for a few steps before he turned to me and smiled his toothy grin.

"You're pretty strong already without us," he said, "so it's amazing to see how much further you can go."

I was moved at how easily he could say something so heavy to me. To have someone apart from Kakashi to acknowledge me was, in itself, uplifting. But for _Naruto_, the very person who was sent on a mission to rescue me, to tell me he thought I was strong gave me an emotion I don't think I'd ever felt. For once, I felt proud of what I did, even though there was plenty of room for self-improvement. It still didn't mean that I couldn't be happy with the progress I was making. I playfully punched Naruto's arm and he chuckled and bumped into my side. Things at the _ryokan_ felt like this; easy and natural. It was strange, considering the fact that Kakashi was Tsunade-sama's advisor and was very obviously skilled in combat and war strategies. Yet, he seemed to give me the opposite impression in terms of his strategic nature. Instead of being cruel and forcing me to suffer and endure through his training, he encouraged me, although there were times I wasn't sure if he was pushing me too hard or if that was just how much he believed in me. Not that I _minded_ the rigorous training — but it was strange, because I never saw him training anyone else.

"Knock him outta the park," Naruto whispered as we stepped onto the field.

I gave him a smile and turned towards the middle of the field, where Kakashi stood patiently with his arms at his side.

"I hope you're ready." he says as I come closer.

"Always." I reply as I come to face him.

.

.

.

Kakashi's low voice rang in my ears when he gave me a different set of instructions from the usual training we did. He placed his palms on my shoulders and told me to be careful, told me to be patient and not to rush, but most importantly, to stop if my head felt like it was going to explode, or if my heart was beating too hard that I couldn't breathe. He was assertive, but there was a tinge of worry that couldn't help but reveal how he really viewed this part of the training. He was afraid. He had _lost_ people through this training. It was a risk he had to take whenever he trained people like me, but he always reminded us to come back if we were still not strong enough.

"Who was the last person you trained?" I asked quietly.

"Naruto."

"Did he do well?"

There was a silence.

"He was only a kid, Sakura," he whispered, his tone regretful, "and yet…"

He averted his gaze to look at me and I saw a smidgen of his own fear — not being able to save the lives of those who are innocent. Kakashi held my gaze and I felt as though he was trying to tell me a story with the way his eyes moved back and forth slowly, as though searching for a part of me to tell the story to. He sighed finally, making me jolt a little. He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at me again, this time his eyes more guarded. I raised an eyebrow.

"Don't worry about other people," he said curtly, "focus on yourself right now."

I closed my eyes slowly and let his voice guide me until I could no longer hear it. Once I opened my eyes again, my surroundings were not the field — but it was a room filled with works of art. I looked at the paintings and the wall ornaments, my eyes widening with amazement. I started to walk around the big but somehow cramped room, looking for some form of answer. It was familiar, it was a _memory_ I tried very hard not to think about, so that I didn't have nightmares when I fell asleep at night. I turned to a corner of the room and found nothing, found no one. I dragged my feet further into the deep silence of the room, knowing exactly what I would find. The hairs on the nape of my neck began to stand on end with each step that I took. As I came closer to the windows of what I decided was my father's study, I heard snivelling and the sounds of my father's pleas.

My mother's cries stuck in her throat.

My father's wavering voice.

The sound of a blade being drawn from its sheath.

_Fuck_, I thought.

I finally turned another corner where the windows where, where the light touched the inside of my father's haven, as though seemingly trying to kiss them with warmth before they were laid bare — dead and cold. My father's face was stained with dried tears, his shoulders shaking as he avoided eye contact with a man who held the long sword. My mother, who I always knew to be fierce and brave, sat beside him with her head bowed, her hands in her lap. I felt a lump in my throat — my parents, who all my life, had been brave and protected me — couldn't find the strength to save themselves. I looked towards the exit of the room, where I knew a younger me would come running inside just a few moments later, excited to tell her parents what Tsunade-sama had taught her that day.

I saw their mouths move, their lips quivering as more tears fell down their face. My father had always smiled for me, even when I cried. I felt my eyes prickle when he held his face in his hands, my heart splintered with every tear that he let out.

I stepped forward, reaching my arms out as I knelt in front of them, with the armed man right behind me. I touched their faces, their heads, their shoulders — every part of them that would have gotten their attention — but it was to no avail. They couldn't see me, hear me, _feel_ me. Their mouths opened again as they looked up, their eyes wide with fear — and I closed my eyes as suddenly, I could hear their screams. I held my face in my hands as I heard their blood splatter around them, their bodies falling heavily to the floor. I tried to breathe — like Kakashi had reminded me — but now, all I could see was the man putting his sword back in his sheath.

I took a closer look at him — his red eyes — and felt my heart tremble with fear. I felt paralyzed, but I had so many questions for him. What had my parents done? Why now? Why didn't he go after me?

He turned to jump out the window that I didn't notice was broken, and just then, I heard a child's laughter. I felt my heart sink. I turned to look at her, bright green eyes that were so filled with hope. It was incredible — it was like warmth from the sun. I watched as those eager eyes took in the scene before her, the blood that was starting to stain the carpet, her parents' forever-opened eyes. I felt the man behind me stop, looking at the same little girl whose face turned into one of horror. Her tiny mouth tried to form words, to form questions that she wanted answered, but instead what came out was heavy breathing that she tried to control when tears brimmed her eyes and fell down her face, as though they were geysers. She held her hand over her tiny mouth and the man with the blade took one step towards her.

I remember how this went.

He tried to comfort me.

His red eyes told her he was a monster, that _he_ was the one who took away her parents from her. He held out a hand to her — perhaps as some sort of sick joke — but she backed away, her wide eyes terrified, traumatized. The man was taken aback, and when he heard footsteps down the hallway accompanied by frantic voices, he gave the girl one last look before he jumped out the window, the sound of his feet never hitting the grass. I looked over the ledge while the people of the palace warmed into the room, checking the younger me for visible wounds — but they would find none.

I don't remember him not touching me.

I don't remember him not harming me.

I could have sworn he threatened me.

I started to feel frantic and my mind started to race — what _actually_ happened the day my parents were murdered? It was only a mystery to those who did not know them personally, but I was their daughter. I was _sure _their death went as I remembered it. They _were_ stabbed and they _were_ left to die. I remember the horror I felt when I found them, but could it be true that the red eyes that had scared me the first time I was training with Kakashi, were now making me ask questions I wasn't sure I could find the answer to?

Peering over the ledge again, I started to remember how this affected Salji, how it was only the beginning of the war that would devastate us for _years_ at a time. I felt my head start to throb and my blood starting to run cold. I wanted answers. I _needed_ them, and without thinking, I ran out of the room past everyone and began searching for him. For the man who was responsible for mine — and everyone else's — suffering. I was selfish, thinking that the death of my parents had only affected me since I was their flesh and blood. I didn't understand at the time, that they were important people. The people needed them more than I needed them, and I felt my heart fall to my stomach as I ran, looking for the bright red eyes that were so unlike the blood of the people he killed.

As I ran, I felt the throbbing in my head intensify, spreading throughout my neck and my arms, all the way to my fingertips. I started to feel paralyzed and suddenly, my legs were not working. I was no longer running, and instead of the walls of a building I had called home, I saw darkness. It was fleeting, and the pain that I felt in my body was slowly disappearing. I could see nothing, hear nothing — much less feel anything.

Kakashi's warnings were distant whispers now.

.

.

.

I awoke to the sound of a sink tap being turned on and the humming of a particularly raspy voice that, at this point, I recognized very well. I cracked my eyes open slowly and saw Naruto hovering over the sink, the creases of his forehead telling me that he was afraid. He squeezed the cloth he was holding a few times, almost as though his thoughts were distracting him from doing whatever it was he needed to do.

"Good thing you're up," he said without turning to look at me.

"What happened?"

There was a long pause before he turned off the tap and slowly walked over to where I lay, his expression grave and solemn. The usual smile he wore made no appearance — not even at the corners of his lips like they usually did. His eyes were wide and he furrowed his brow when he sat at the edge of my bed, placing the damp cloth over my forehead and pressing on it lightly.

"You passed out."

"From what…?"

"You weren't breathing."

Naruto didn't say anything more for a few minutes, his eyes studying my face quietly, the usual roaring blue fire now a small flame. I hoisted myself up into a sitting position and removed the cloth from my forehead, resting it over the blanket that now covered my legs. I watched his face, looking for any sign of an answer, but he remained still before he sighed and gave a bright smile.

"It's okay though," he said, "you're okay now!"

"Naruto, I —"

"Let's go tell Kakashi that you're okay."

"Look, what I saw —"

"He'll be so relieved!"

I stared at him in disbelief until he quieted down, his bright smile falling off his face, an obvious hoax that was an attempt to get me to stop asking questions. He was hiding something from me and despite his best efforts, I could see it in the way his fingers twitched when I reached out for his wrist. I wanted him to _look at me_. He did, but there was a wall that he was desperately trying to keep up. The corners of his lips turned upwards in a small smile, but his eyes held acceptance, sadness, but more importantly: weakness.

"What happened?" I tried again.

"You stopped breathing," he whispered, "and we thought we lost you."

"What did Kakashi say?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

He paused.

"He didn't give me any orders, if that's what you're asking."

"So you brought me here because…"

"Because I wanted to be the one to make sure you were still breathing."

I thought for a moment as we stared at each other, our expressions blank. I opened my mouth to ask _how_ exactly I started breathing again, but before I could get the words out, Naruto spoke first, his eyes cast downwards towards his hands.

"I wiped your skin with cool water," he said softly, "and I fanned you. I made sure your body would return to a more normal temperature."

"Was it high when I was… unconscious?"

"Like fire."

I sighed and pressed a hand to my forehead where the cloth had apparently been repeatedly placed. I allowed my eyes to close as I remembered the training, the day of my parents' death, the red-eyed man who apparently did not harm me as I thought I had recalled. The memory wasn't exactly a blur, but there were details that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. When I opened my eyes again, Naruto was staring at me.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"You look worried."

"Of course I am, Haruna-chan."

I raised an eyebrow at him, which made him smile. It was silent between us for a few moments more, and the more I looked at my favorite shade of blue, the more I felt as though there were no words needed for him to say. His eyes were soft, emotive, _innocent_ — and I couldn't tear myself away. He reached for my hands and held them in his warm, large ones, facing my palms up so that he could look at them, as though he was reading the creases and lines in my hands carefully. Instinctively, I brought myself closer to him, until he was only a breath away, and it was only then that he looked up at me again, his thoughts told through half-lidded eyes.

It was a funny thing, seeing him this way. He was known as the goofy, cheerful mercenary that earned respect from his teammates because of the tactics he used to succeed. They loved him more than anything because he was always seeking to protect something, always seeking to save things and people that were almost lost to war. He was admirable, he was kind, and when he lifted his hands to cup my face, I had never felt so safe. He brought my face closer to his until our noses grazed, and his hushed words made all the loss, all the guilt, all the failed training seem small. I felt hope course through my body and it was like I had no limits.

"Don't disappear again," he whispered.

I nodded my assent as tears fell out from the corners of my eyes. The horrible memories that I occasionally had nightmares about popped into my head, but more as a distant happening than an immediate event. I had been afraid and I was _still_ afraid, but Naruto's words assured me that there was hope, that I could become stronger, despite the many obstacles that threatened me. When he pressed his soft, warm lips to mine, I knew that I had found a new home, where I would be safe and loved immensely.

.

.

.

The _ryokan_ was awfully quiet when Naruto and I came downstairs. I spotted Sai sitting in the waiting area, his face paler than usual. Shikamaru was beside him, shaking his head every few seconds, then sighing in quiet exasperation. The others were restless, checking their watches or scratching the nape of their necks. Were they perhaps waiting for me to wake up? I watched in awe and Naruto touched my shoulder as a signal for me to stay put as he walked over to them, his expression much more calm than just a few moments ago. He went to Sai first, and when the guy turned to look at me, he was smiling softly, almost as though relieved. I smiled back and waved, feeling somewhat guilty that my weakness had caused these people so much grief.

"Where's Kakashi?" I heard Naruto ask Kiba.

"The kitchen," he replied, "said something about fixing himself a drink."

"I'll go check up on him," I said.

"But you'd see him drunk," Naruto said, "and _that__'__s_ not a pretty sight."

I smiled as everyone sniggered at him, rolling their eyes in mock annoyance. I heard chatter behind me as I stepped into the kitchen, bracing myself for an image I might not like. Kakashi was at a counter top, pouring himself a glass of whiskey on the rocks, his expression somewhat amused. I took a slow step forward, my brow scrunching together because I was anxious as to how he reacted when I had lost consciousness.

"Kakashi?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at me, his grey eyes solemn. It took a while for him to register that it was me, but the expression he wore before he realized it was an expression I hoped I would never have to see again. He stood from his chair and wobbled the slightest bit and I quickly ran over to him to hold him up while he chuckled, his breath _stinking_ of alcohol.

"You're okay," he said.

"Yes," I replied, "Naruto took care of me, as I'm sure you know."

"He's a good kid."

"He is."

"He wants you to be safe."

"I know."

"We all do."

"I know," I said quietly.

I asked Kakashi to sit back in his seat while I washed out his glass with soap, making sure the stench disappeared from the glass. I could hear him breathing heavily and even place the side of his face on the marbled countertop, possibly trying to cool down his warm cheeks. I wiped my hands on my pants as I sat beside him, patting his back gently to soothe him. Kakashi wasn't the type to allow others to take care of him, but this much was enough for him. It was enough to let him know that it was alright to be weak every once in a while.

"I've lost too many," he whispered.

"I'm here," I said, keeping my tone cheerful.

"But I almost lost you," he paused for a moment, "_Naruto_ almost lost you."

I was quiet and allowed Kakashi to tearfully thank whatever supernatural force he believed in to allow me to live. As I helped him get to his feet, Naruto walked into the kitchen with a red-haired man — one I hadn't seen before, and I had been at this _ryokan_ for quite a few weeks already. He had greener eyes than mine, but they were still pale — almost a spearmint color — and the bags around his eyes were extremely prominent. He scowled at me even as Naruto placed a kiss at the top of my head, introducing the man to me.

"Haruna-chan," he said, "this is Gaara."

"Nice to meet you," I said pleasantly, but Gaara barely responded and glared at me before he nodded and walked out of the kitchen again.

"What's his deal?" I asked quietly.

"He just takes a while to warm up to people."

I blinked.

"Did I _do_ something to him?"

"No," Naruto replied as he watched Kakashi, who seemed to be getting sober by the minute," he just needs a little bit of time before he talks to someone. Usually only does it because it's a necessity."

"How did you become friends with him?" I asked as I poured all three of us a glass of water.

"Long story," he replied simply, taking a sip.

Sai came barging into the kitchen with a slightly frantic expression, his large eyes becoming even wider, his mouth half open in an attempt to get words out. I raised an eyebrow and got out of my seat again to walk over to him, but Naruto and Kakashi thought ahead of me.

"What's wrong, Sai?" Kakashi said with such vigor that you wouldn't realize he was still a little bit drunk.

"Tana…" he began and gulped as he looked between all three of us, as though expecting us to finish the sentence for him.

"What about them?" Naruto asked.

Although Sai did not say the words, there was an unsettled lurch in my stomach as Naruto's and Kakashi's faces fell in understanding. There were what sounded like slurs of words between all three of them before Kakashi nodded and poured himself another glass of water, chugging it down and clearing his throat.

"We have to do something," Kakashi said.

"The grenades aren't enough in stock," Sai replied monotonously, but his eyes told a different story.

"We gotta use what we got, then," Naruto growled, "because we _have_ to win."

Before I could ask any questions, Naruto grabbed my hand and led me out of the kitchen towards the other members of the _ryokan_, his expression tense. His jaw tightened and loosened as he hurriedly gave instructions to those around me. Even Kiba, who was mostly a goofball, took Naruto seriously and left to go upstairs.

"Naruto, what's going on?" I asked, terrified.

"You stay here," he said simply.

"What?" I said. "_No_! Absolutely not, you have to let me _help_ you."

Naruto's eyes narrowed and his expression was feral, frightening - almost animalistic. For the first time, I felt somewhat afraid, a little bit intimidated. But I wanted to know _why_ he was reacting this way, and so I scrunched my brow, looking in his eyes for answers of any sort. At this, he relaxed a little, his expression eventually softening with just a hint of aggression.

"It's not safe."

"I don't care."

"Haruna-chan —"

"You said you believed in me," I replied tersely, "or were you lying when you said that?"

He blinked, genuinely taken aback by the tone he heard in my voice. "I wasn't lying."

"Then let me help."

He hesitated and rubbed the back of his neck as he looked at me, his eyes indecisive and afraid. I held my ground and continued to look at him, even as the other mercenaries and members of the _ryokan_ went about us, grabbing armour and weapons, preparing for something that was clearly a battle. I took one step closer so he couldn't avoid my eyes and I cupped his face in my hands, asserting my determination.

"You gotta let her fight, dude," Kiba said as he passed by us, a grin on his smug face.

Naruto sighed, exasperated. "_Fine_, you can fight, but you have to stay alive. You got it?"

"Got it."

At that, Naruto nodded his head at Kiba and before I could ask him where he was going to be on the battlefield, Kiba grabbed my arm and led me to where the other girls were, asking them to hand me some armour and a weapon. They all smiled at me and helped me to prepare for my first real battle. I was afraid and shaken up but I couldn't let them all fight alone. Despite not growing up with these people, I had come to think of them as a sort of family. They looked out for me a significant amount, and nothing I could do would repay their kindness. I could see no other way to be their equals than to fight with them.

"Are you ready?" Tenten asked, her eyes bright with excitement.

"If I said no?" I replied, chuckling a little.

"Then we'd make sure you were," Temari replied curtly, but I saw a smile tug at the side of her lips.

"I was kidding," I said, "I'm ready."

"Good," Tenten replied, "the Tana soldiers are attacking at sunset. Be on your guard at _all_ times."

"Right," I replied as I tightened my garments and secured my armour, "got it. What about the rest?"

"The guys are good at mid-range to close-range. They'll be fine," Temari said as she laid a hand on my shoulder, "_Naruto_ will be fine."

I nodded and took a deep breath, following them to where they apparently kept their weapons. The _ryokan_ had never been louder and bustling with noise and voices of those who I had never met before. Those who were normally kind were now in full battle mode, coming up with strategies to chase away the very people who made this kingdom suffer. We passed by Naruto, Kakashi, Shikamaru, Sai, and as though it were random, Gaara. They were speaking in hushed, quick words with ample hand gestures, pointing here and there on a map that was surely a map of the closest forest — because where else would the enemy attack from?

I froze.

"The sea," I whispered.

"What was that?" Tenten asked.

"They're not coming from the forest, they're coming from the sea."

"That's certainly a possibility," Temari responded easily.

"No," I said quietly, "_no no no_. You don't _get_ it, if they attacked from the forest it would make things more complicated and they know that our weapons against theirs would be much stronger. They're attacking by _sea_, they're not arriving by sunset —" I hurriedly said, my voice becoming louder and louder that the men before us took notice.

"— they're arriving _soon_, we don't have time —"

A bomb sounded in the distance and the entire building went dead silent. We listened for more, but instead of just bombs, we heard the sounds of their ships' horns, announcing their unwelcome arrival. My mouth fell open as Naruto and the rest scrambled to get their weapons prepared and to head out. The sea was not too far from here, and if we waited too long to get to them, they would find the _ryokan_ first. They would _murder_ innocent people first. Naruto quickly ran to me and shook my shoulders, his eyes hard and determined.

"Stay alive," he said to me sternly.

"What if —"

"_Stay alive_," he said once more.

Temari and Tenten took me by my hand and shoved a sword into my hand, telling me to use it without hesitation. I kept my eyes forward as we ran out of the _ryokan_ and put it in lockdown to protect the rest of our saved up resources. As we ran in the snow towards the sea, I felt my heard thud in my chest from apprehension. I reminded myself to breathe, reminded myself that I couldn't let anyone down. This was _our_ fight, not just theirs, and we would win.

We _had_ to win.


End file.
